a cny reunion?

Very early this morning, I had a dream. 
Both my parents (father & mother) were walking towards the lift lobby.
I was following them.
My mother was swirling and hymming happily while walking towards the lift lobby.
I was observing my mother from behind her.
She was wearing a matching pastel flowery blouse and knee length skirt. She was wearing a pair of 2 shades of grey flats. 
I remember seeing her legs as she swirl and swirl.
I remember hearing her voice as she hymm and hymm.


I called her (Mi), she turned back and smiled at me. 
It was one of her happiest smile. I could see her eyes smiling too.
I walked towards her and hugged her tightly.
I told her 只要你开心, 我看到就会很开心.
She whisper to me 你是不是有事想要告诉我?
I shoke my head and smile back at her.
But tears swelling in my eyes. 
My mother look into my eyes one more time before turning around towards the lift lobby.
I was left there alone.
I felt a certain kind of sadness which I cannot explain.
It's the kind of feeling when you are sad and tired and wish there's someone who can share your pain but you rather keep everything to yourself 
because you want the other person to be happy
because you didn't want the other person to worry about you.


I woke up crying, my pillow wet.
My little one let out a wail. 
I picked her up thinking she wanted milk but she didn't and fall back asleep.
After putting her down the cot, I went back to bed.
I took my phone and started jotting down this dream.
I remembered saving it but strangely I couldn't find the particular entry. 
It just vanished just like my dream.
I couldn't sleep anymore after that.
All I could remember was I cried and cried silently in the stillness of the dawn until my eyes were blur and swollen.


I wonder whether can I consider this a reunion since I get to meet my mother as well during this cny.
I wonder whether my daughter saw her grandma when she let out a wail but fall back asleep shortly.
I wonder what's this dream trying to tell me. 
I wonder whether my mother is happy now (as happy as she seem in my dream).
I wonder whether she knows how much I miss her.


but I'm truly thankful that I got to see her and hug her even if it's only in my dream.