was I afraid?

For some of you close to me, you might remember that once upon a time I used to be crazy for money that I can spend all my waking hours trying to find ways to earn extra. 
at some point of time in my mid twenties, I had started a business of nutrition breakfast with some partners. 
Not known to anyone except the person I'm living with now (apart from my previous business partners), is that from that business, apart from the experience gained doing business, I had another experience which I had chosen not to remember but couldn't get it deleted from my 'recycle bin'.


Our breakfast shop last time used to be the half front part of a comic shop. Meaning we rent only a quarter of the shop space and we share the toilet which is way at the back of the comic shop.
Those days, I used to leave home around 5.30am - 6.00am and reach the shop before 6.30am. Our operating hour start 6.30am. We need to be there early to do setup. Since I am working full time on weekdays, I'm in charge of the breakfast shop for weekend.


I couldn't remember clearly already whether it was a saturday or sunday.
The day was already bright but I couldn't remember what time. The comic shop was not opened yet. They open at 10am daily.
There were a few customers and we were busy. 
An Indian uncle customer came to ask me where the toilet is. 
I led him to the door that connect to the comic shop and told him to walk straight and the toilet is at the end. He said he cannot see, very dark.
It was indeed dark at the comic shop so I had no choice but to go switch on the light. Unfortunately the light switch is not at where I'm standing. (Remember, our shop is just a made up of a partition of a quarter of the comic shop).


That's when the horror began, after I switched on 1 row of lights, this (later-i-found-out-drunk) uncle grabbed hold of me, attempted to hug and kiss. I remembered pushing him away only to be pulled harder. I know I should have shouted for help as loud as I could but somehow i don't remember being able to shout. I just remembered pushing him away with all my might, bend down and dash to the connecting door as fast as I could. 


I was shaking but relieved when I saw the crowd. At least I know here I'll be safe. 
My legs went jelly, I felt as thought all my energy has been drained from my body and I had difficulty breathing. I squatted down behind the counter. Seeing things are not right, Wai Peng came over. All I managed was just to grab her hand, hold it tight and told her that there's a crazy fella inside.  


I think a few minutes passed, we heard the connecting door opened. I dare not even look and hid behind the counter. The crazy fella just walked off. 
After calm down, I told Wai Peng & Joyce what happened and for our safety, we told our left right shop owners to help keep an eye for us. When the comic shop owner came, we told him and asked for one row of lights to be kept on instead of us having to go and switch it on.


When I think back, even if I shouted, people outside may not even hear with the radio playing, the blender blending and customer chit chatting.


I didn't know at that point of time, what can be done? other than preventing things from happening again to anyone. I didn't know whether we can report or who to report to? Heck, I couldn't even remember that bas**** face.
But one thing for sure ... after that incident, each time I go to the shop, I don't feel comfortable. It just doesn't feel right and I'm scared.


To cut a long story short, 
I'm not sure ... it's strange that at that point of time, I can get so shaken & scared and yet I didn't dare to tell anyone (except wai peng & joyce - my biz partners). Not even my sisters / parents (well, I didn't want them to worry). I only told my other half so so so much later.
Now, it doesn't affect me at all already. It is part of my life experience. Something that has make me braver today (i hope). something i can close / put an end to. something that we can learn ... to prevent women from sexual harassment.