Precious : GDM

It was around the 28th week into pregnancy. 
I was just there for normal checkup and they ask me to go for a MGTT.
(MGTT stands for Modified Glucose Tolerance Test)
MGTT is usually offered to pregnant women with previous history / family history / obese / high risk factor of diabetes.
They told me currently I'm not in the above group but their reason for giving me this test was
I had previously a big baby @ 3.85kg (they say for my size, it's consider big)
I even offered them explanation : could it be because baby's father is big too? 
I tell them so because I was there for checkup myself so they have not seen the baby's father. 
They say still I have to go for the test, regardless ... it's better to be on the safe side.
They gave me the instruction to fast and the date to come again.
So, home I went & started with my research.
Honestly, I loathe (if not hate) all kind of unnecessary tests / intervention because I feel they create unnecessary stress / tension to an otherwise healthy pregnancy.


On the day, as instructed, I started fasting the night before and were feeling my stomach empty. 
1st tube of blood taken and we were literally 'forced' to drink a 'too sweet and vomit inducing solution'. We were to continue to fast until the 2nd tube of blood taken after 2 hours. 
Result will be out later. Waiting is definately not fun. 
I was careless though. I still eat as usual without taking into consideration that I may possibility of having GDM (gestinational diabetes melitus). 
I've taken myself for granted and may have risk my baby. This I really feel very guilty. 


Result is out and I'm not ok. 
So doctor asked me to admit & do BSP ( Blood Sugar Profiling) immediately which again I hesitated. I even negotiate to come in and do the test at different interval instead of admission but the doctor wanted an immediate admission. 
At last, I managed to convince the doctor that I'll admit tomorrow.
The doctor say, if situation warrant, I'll need to learn to inject insulin beside diet control.
I guess I was in denial and just couldn't accept that I'm in the 5%-7% that get GDM during pregnancy.
The doctor reprimanded me saying I shouldn't 'main main' (translated play play) and told me the consequences. 
All of sudden, the seriousness of the situation to baby & me struck me like lightning.
I loss myself for a while. 


I didn't know how to break the news. I felt so bad. I felt I've not done what a mother should to protect the baby in her womb. 
As I've to be admitted to hospital, I've got no choice but to 'share the burden' with ah dear. I think he has the right to know despite me not wanting anyone to know.
I even asked him to lie on my behalf. I thought everything can be resolved unknowingly but that is not true. Paper cannot wrap fire ah...like they chinese put it.


So there I'm early morning ... ah dear bring me to admit myself to the hospital. This is the 2nd time I admit hospital. The 1st time was when deliver 1st child. 
At the maternity ward, I feel a little out of place. Some thought I'm waiting to be induced. Some thought I'm waiting for labour. All except that I came in just for BSP. 
Throughout the morning, there about 12 students in different groups asking me the same questions and I actually answered them diligently.. haha, talking about NBTD (Nothing better to do). I was visited by a few doctors from different fields (which I can't remember clearly now except for the dietitian)


At times, even I myself can be frightened by my own action and boldness. 
I told the doctor I need to go home and come back tomorrow morning. I say I need to go fetch my kid, my kid need me to fall asleep la ... all sort of nonsense I can think of...
I even promised to be back at the hospital @ 6am. 
The doctor on duty told me she has to refer to the registrar. Nevertheless, the outcome was that admitted patient is not allowed to leave hospital unless discharged.


To tell the truth, I actually eat just minimal because I was stupid enough to sort of 'cap my blood sugar level' so that it will not go so high until I need insulin injection. I'm very very scared of this. I was hungry and fighting the urge to eat more. 


Since I'm there, my as well make good use of it. I managed to complete some outstanding reading. But the best of all, I managed to talk to more than a dozen of mothers there, say angugu to all their babies ...gaining from their stories, their background, their experience and even some age old traditions or practice of different ethnics. My biggest gain was that at last I roughly can imagine what to expect giving birth there.


To cut long story short, I couldn't sleep well at night at the ward. Without my pillow, my bolster (main support for big tummy during pregnancy), it's hard to fall asleep. One baby was crying almost every hour...I found out the next morning that the chinese mom didn't have (enough) breastmilk so her baby was hungry till the nurse offered formula milk. 
This chinese mother turn out to be a very nice lady. She's smaller in size than me and she shares with me her birthing experience. She's someone down to earth and very comfortable to talk to. 
In fact, I actually feel sad leaving her (for someone whom I had know a few hour). She had to stay one more day because her baby need to be monitored.


Going back from hospital is not the end of the GDM ordeal... in fact it's only the beginning.


Looking back at the whole episode thereafter, I feel relieved now that it was only GDM (only during pregnancy due to hormonal change).
Not only that, my biggest finding about myself...sometimes those things I do can be really STUPID but if everything is perfect and I'm so smart, I wouldn't have learnt so much. I wouldn't have appreciate myself.

Hot...hotter

The weather is hot nowadays ...

It always is especially before chinese new year

I feel so much hotter this year than previously

Could it be ...

hormones???

Neh... it must be because I'm not working (read : staying inside air-cond office)

the thing about online shopping

Talking about the kind of relationship I have with online shopping, I feel rather silly.

It's the love-hate-hate-love type.

I go head over heels at times and within seconds I loathe it.

You see the thing is : 

(a) Online shopping is so so convenient, I do not have to even leave my home to get the stuff I want. Reason for saying this : I had once got myself something as intimate as nursing breast pump online ... just like that' without even trying. Mind you, it wasn't even cheap, cost a few hundred bucks.

(b) I can compare prices and check out the best deals.

(c) I can get much more varieties as compared to physical store.

(c) I can see what other people have to say about the retailers and get to research about each product.

(d) I get things delivered to my doorstep. Anticipating the arrival of goodies is exciting.

(e) You don't get salesperson following around or pretending like they are not paying attention / looking at you when they are trying very hard to 'eye' you.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT (there's always but, isn't it)

those things that I love is those thing that I loathe 

(A) the fact that I can (fill up with answers from (a) to (e) above) is really killing me. 

It make spending hard-earned so easy, so irresistible, so 'at the snap of finger'.

Oh, btw, did I mention this year I'm even getting CNY clothes online. See what I mean?! LOL

Business of being born

Last Thursday, an ex-colleague sms'ed me. 

She's giving birth to a dragon baby in Feb 2012.  

In her message, she said she may plan for elective C-sec again.

This is her 2nd child. Her 1st child was born via elective C-sec.

She wants to know what's my opinion since I've experienced both.

Earlier, she has been contemplating vbac.
I had some difficulty replying her sms and giving her my opinion without being slightly biased. I tried giving a neutral opinion... but I guess she would have read those everywhere on the net.
I ended up asking her gently what was her doctor's advice (since her doctor knows her should condition best)
She said her doctor say it's up to her.
I asked her for her email and promised to share more with her since I was outside and couldn't do long sms reply (remember, I couldn't multitask well =p)


On my way back, I was thinking hard how to share with her my opinion without being biased and let her make her own choice. I do not want to be seen as 'hardselling' VBAC / natural birth because it's really really an individual choice, individual preference. 
I'm not against c-sec, it is life saving.


In the end, what I did was share with her this documentary 'Business of being born' and a few links which I find very helpful.
This 'Business of being born' was one of the influence in my decision. 
It has strengthened & consolidated what I believe in.
Now that it has helped me... I too would like to share this with all yet-to-be mothers, want-to-be mothers, soon-to-be mothers, already-a-mother, soon-to-be mothers of 2,3,4,5...., fathers and anyone who's involved directly or indirectly in a mother's delivery. 


* ps. thank you so much to ah dear for helping me find & download this documentary(after  he saw me trying to watch snippets, snippets & snippets on youtube. It may be a small gesture but it meant alot and I'm moved.


spare a little of time to watch, you'll see 'something'.
and please feel free to share =) 
btw, this is not a paid post and I don't get anything. Enjoy the trailers.

cloth diaper

Some say 2012 is the end 
Whether 2012 is the end or not the end or near the end, I don't know.
But this is what I can do for our earth...
I've started my little one on cloth diaper (modern type lo) for day time. 
So far so good =) 
Night time still using disposable diapers, couldn't afford to sacrifice my sleep =p 


"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestor, we borrow it from our children"

new year new dustbin... yay!

Malaysians sure have unique way of celebrating 1st day of 2012

We get big green mobile rubbish bin to every household for 'FREE' (T & C apply) from the rubbish collection company =p 

Now, they make us responsible for the 'green taiko' who's as tall as half ah dear complete with 2 big wheels.

2011

2011 - how i fared (in no particular order)


I had become pregnant again while breastfeeding & before the recommended 2 years for mother with previous ceasarean scar.


I had done a VBAC.
I've put so much effort to try a VBAC that I think I can write a book on it.
* VBAC stands for Vaginal Birth After Ceaserean and it's a great deal for me


I had declined an offer at work giving myself so many lame justifications.


I've completed some 'sh*t' @ work namely PIDM (something about protecting the whole bank's deposit) which I didn't thought was possible. 


I've earned "bad daughter in law" award for defying my in-laws on the choice of my delivery & upbringing. 


I've had by far the worse kind of pain and glad that I pulled it through with lots of tears & sweat though. 


I've been torn & sewn back. "Once broken, considered 'sew'ed"  


I've got myself GDM 
*GDM stands for Gestational Diabetes Melitus


I've managed to stay sane despite has not been really travelling / holidaying for the past 2 years.


I've understood that we don't get to choose our parents ... for their shortcomings, we can only accept them, understand them & love them even more for who are we to judge them.


I've not visited my mom for 10 months despite missing her every single day. And being an unfilial daughter, I've even dare to ask whether mom can come to see me in my dreams or not. I must be crazy speaking to a moth or a white butterfly everytime I see one because I believe it is her.


I've managed to spend a large amount out of my 20 years savings to buy back what I've take for granted. I even got myself into a huge debt unwillingly and bigger repayment waiting for me come 2012.


I've learnt 'to be bad', learnt to 'fight' & to stand up for myself. 


I've managed to secure some very expensive 'retail theraphy' packages even though I knew I'm broke. 


I've learnt not to be ashamed to admit I didn't achieve what I wanted to because I didn't put in effort at all.... like cooking a descent meal, like recognizing route, like learning a new language, like exercising, like so many things I want to do but had not done.


I've learnt to not to be bothered by how others see me. In fact this I've been learning it diploma'lly previously but this year, I think I managed to bachelor degree'ed it.


I've became slacker in attempt to keep myself attractive & presentable(perhaps related to previous point). I stubbornly didn't even started using the masks my friends gave me from Taiwan last December 2010. 


I've up'ed my level of kiasu'ness and kiasi'ness. I have a need to protect those who are dependent on me. 


I've managed to get older and more very forgetful... CY witnessed this yesterday =p and let's hope I won't forget that I'm married *(to a good husband) with 2 kids.
* to note down before I forget.


I've managed to keep this blog going by putting in alot of rubbish. 


I've managed to get emotional openly without needing to hide and cry in shower (would like to cry in the rain but I'm afraid of falling sick). 
I've also managed to shed accumulated 1 kg of tears this year.


I've managed to grow sideway but I hope I can donate blood in future.

baby cube toy : attempt 2

Happy with attempt 2, will try with more scrap clothes variety =) 
Those I earlier intended to make for ah bi have been given to my colleagues' babies. Although it's something simple ... hope the babies like it =) 
For ah bi need not worry, mama can always make some more =) 

I've

Secret garden (K)
Love in disguise (M)

Overheard (C)
Accident (C)

Detective Dee (C)

Shaolin (C)

Sun yung Kwan scandal (K)

Nasi lemak 2.0 (M)

Bad teacher (E)

Coffee house (K)

Drive of life (C)
Ghostwriter (C)
Crossing Hennessy (C)

Fated to love you (M) : currently watching 


(K) : Korean
(C) : Cantonese
(M) : Mandarin


I've enjoyed watching all and learnt some life lessons too =) 
Actually don't know this can consider as achievement or not, this is the 1st time watching so many series / movies in about 2 months' time =p 

career & family

Just the day before, I 'chickened out' from a bigger role career wise. 
That is after I wasted a few days of my maternity leave thinking and rethinking over and over over it.
Oh...and I pretty much gave myself a few too many 'lame' justifications for 'chickening out' 
and I totally understand the implications of my action 'chickening out'
Among the lame excuses, the timing is out...I've just take on a bigger role personal wise and come clashing with it is a bigger role career wise.
Strange though...I still felt relieved. 
Perhaps I don't have the 'fire' in me anymore, it's slowly distinguishing.


Why can't I choose both and balance them out? 
Just like how I can't multitask ... I couldn't focus on one without sacrificing another. 
There's this thing that I haven't learn to tackle.
From past experiences, I usually end up neither here nor there. Worse come to worse, I flopped both.


Yes, I'm aware that nothing comes easily without sacrifice...
which is perhaps why I choose to sacrifice for those things that are to me, more important.


sorry for the lame post ...
Wishing everyone a merry merry christmas & a happy happy new year =)

回家真好

heard this song 回家真好 on 98.8 radio yesterday ... the lyrics sort of convey my thoughts.

电话不停在吵老板不停在闹

总逃不开工作表做完了又来了
怎样也甩不掉
回家感觉真好别管世俗纷扰
把一整天的面罩忙和累的大脑
都往热水里泡
让没一颗细胞忘掉烦恼
我的家就是我的城堡
每一砖一瓦用爱创造
家里人的微笑是我的财宝
等回家才知道自己真的重要
双手能为家人而粗糙
班么荣耀那么骄傲
你为我把饭烧我为你打扫
啊回家的感觉实在真的太好

Precious : antenatal class

If you still remember my earlier post on wth I've got more important things to do ,
here's the more important thing that I'm referring to.


In my attempt for VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Ceasarean), I've look high & low to attend any classes that will increase my chances.
When I finally found out about the antenatal class HUKM is offering, the 24/9/11 class is full and even on the waiting list, I was told even the waiting list is full.


I've got no choice but to enrol for the next class on 22/10/11. They have only 1 class per month. The overwhelming response for the september class was because being the 'puasa' month, August has no class. I even went to the extend of asking my baby to wait, give mama chance to attend antenatal class. 
True enough, my little one allow me the chance for she came 8 days after I attended the class.


Never mind the fact that we had to fork out RM100 per couple, I have to pre-book my very busy ah dear. The class starts from 8.30am to 5.30pm.


We were a little sceptical as the previous antenatal class we attended during 1st child were more like a series of compact marketing advertising series put together. So we went to this with open mind.


The day came and we went, during registration we were asked if we are 1st time parents,      I told them no but I forgot (just answer for answering sake).


Upon seeing my tummy,
Nurse : ni dah macam nak bersalin ni, bila due? 
me : awal november kak
Nurse : tapi ni dah turun ni ... nanti bila buat senaman, u tengok je la, takut nanti you bersalin hari kat sini pulak.
me : tak pe kak, boleh buat lagi, tak takut. Lagi nak belajar.
Nurse : tapi memang you punya nampak macam dah nak bersalin bila bila masa.


These are the topics covered
1. Normal & abnormal birth
2. Jagaan selepas bersalin and perancangan keluarga
3. Pain relief in labour
4. Optimal nourishment during pregnancy
5. cord blood
6. Penjagaan bayi & permohonan sijil kelahiran
7. penyusuan ibu
8. Senaman antenatal, breathing exercise & postnatal
9. tour of labour room & ward.


Overall, I find this antenatal class good and informative. 
I like activity 8 and 9 the best. However, I almost totally forgotten how to breath during labour. I also like the touring part because it allow us to know where we will be giving birth rather than suprise.


In attending to this, I've missed another FOC antenatal organise by nurses @ KKIA (Klinik Kesihatan Ibu & Anak). It was so co-incidentally on the same day and the nurses very much wanted me to join. Yes, I've grown very close to them for they are the ones that took care of me during this pregnancy and even visited us numerous time @ home postnatal. I feel guilty for letting them down since they very sincerely organised the antenatal class and come back to work on Saturday for the sake of us mothers.

wardrobe winter cleaning

Now is and isn't the right time to do wardrobe winter cleaning ...

IS because when else can I find the time to do if not now?

ISN'T because when your body has ballooned to its new size, you tend to find alot of pre-loved clothes to be given away. And it's not easy looking at the clothes and wondering whether you still can fit in a couple of months down the road. So I took the easy way out, anything that I can't wear now...I'm not going to be able to wear later. Fullstop.

anyway, I'm glad I've successfully completed my mission impossible =p

the last round I did this was during my maternity leave too =p

I guess I only have the courage to do it only at times like these...haha

王力宏「你不知道的事」《戀愛通告》

Just watched this movie 戀愛通告 'Love in Disguise' yesterday and I fall in love immediately with the theme song and Li Hom (for him for composing such a beautiful song, also for his character in the movie).

Nowadays that I've got the chance to watch back some 'some time back movies' ... I realised I missed alot of good movies... what a shame.

Easily put, I've been leading a 'entertainmentless' life ... that makes me such a boring person. People will be talking about the latest movie and I know 'ZERO'

Enough of blabber ... enjoy!

baby cube toy : attempt 1

armed with most basic sewing accessories : needle & thread, scissors, cloth and measurement tape and LOTS of LOVE, I managed to sew something up while ah bi is sleeping.

Can you spot the mistake?

ps. anyone any idea what else can I use as the filing beside cotton?

pre-loved

don't we just love hand me downs (read : pre-loved)?

for :

(a) mama & papa get to save alot (and I'm guilty of buying 2 set of new clothes only for ah bi so far ... that also due to part of chinese belief)

(b) both ah bi gets lots of varieties in their clothing (something that compensate this mama lack of fashion sense..haha)

(c) good for the environment ... reuse, recycle

(d) feel good & strengthen relationship ... you give some 'love' and you receive some 'love' ... that's what makes the world go round.

ps. I'm not sure but my babysitter told me that children should wear pre-loved clothes so that they will 快高长大 ... I love this concept. Whoever that came out with this concept is BRILLIANT!

Haha... I intend to introduce this concept as well ... adult can wear pre-loved clothes for 合家平安.

outlast

Have you ever thought of how does it feel repaying other people debt with your own hard earned money...money which you initially have better plans and better use like for your children?

have you ever thought of how does it feel to pay off debt for someone else where you get nothing in return....meaning you don't get to own a house / car eventually, it's not even for education, it's not even for some retail purchases / not even holiday and tour.

have you ever thought of how does it feel when you have to scrimp, dare not use money yourself, sacrifice your savings, sacrifice your dreams because you have no choice but to repay someone else debt?

have you ever thought of how difficult it is for us to / how much hardship we have to endure/ how much we have to sacrifice to pay off the debt?

I hope I have enough strength to outlast the muddle I've been thrown into...

I'm very very tired of carrying this sack... when can i put it down? or at least is there anyone that can help me carry the sack together?

Precious : coconut water

with this, I'll start my sporadical periodical flashback on my 怀孕 旅程.

I couldn't tell you more how I'm obsessed with young coconut water even before I reaches 3rd trimester of pregnancy ... for it was the only luxury, the only indulgence I could afford (thanks to gestational diabetes I had).

I could go on a 'coconut water spree' and 'coconut hunt' without being questioned..haha

I discovered that coconut water is like chocolate, people (read: I) can get addicted.

As a proof of how bad was my addiction was :

On the late afternoon of the day I gave birth, with contraction of 5 minutes apart (painful contractions mind you), I still have the 'mood/energy/motivation/whatever it takes' to go Tesco to get those 'tender young coconut' selling at RM2.09 / RM2.19 each.

The price differences you noticed? It was price of the precious commodities 'coconut' @ Tesco at different days / weeks. Yes, I'm that obsessed that I stalk the 'coconut fella' and survey almost all stores selling coconut within 5 km in my neighborhood.

Looking back,I didn't know how the hell did I manage to limp around with painful contractions and back pain in Tesco, stopping every 5 minutes (pretending to see things when bitting teeth to tahan pain) just to buy 3 biji of coconuts that I didn't even get to consume....because I 'pushed' that particular night.

lol...such is the power of the 'COCONUT'

椰子 万岁 万岁 万万岁

Sung Kyung Kwan scandal

I've just finally finished watching this Korean series despite my colleague persuasion since earlier of 2011 ... love it. Thank you Kar Mun =)

and the actress is so so sweetly beautiful, I would have fallen for her too ... =p

highly recommended =)

while BF'ing ...

Still remember those picture dictionary we use to have during lower primary school... with those beautiful and colourful pictures.

I got it for RM1.29 (RM12.90 less 90%) with the intention of teaching my kids.

The dictionary published by Longman claimed to cover at least more than 1000 items.

Never did I know I need it more .. for the past 1 week or so, I've been diligently learning item by item while breastfeeding my little one.

Humbly, I underestimated the usefulness of this dictionary, there are still many things I ought to know and learn.

Guess, I found a better way to spend my time while breastfeeding ...

other than falling asleep together with baby

or watching drama (always got not enough time to even on the tv).

At least, by the end of the dictionary, my chinese vocabulary is better by 1000+ items =D hehe

1 iPod for 1 kid

Remember those olden day practice where wife get rewarded for giving birth?

Oh, I've just got mine... An Ipod =D

Very thoughtful of ah dear to have got me something that I like & will use for a long long time.

Features I like ....the music, the radio station( especially during commuting), the pedometer function( now I don't have to manually count steps n miss counts), the watch function( since my watch rosak long ago).

Didn't know he was serious when he said he'll get me something from Singapore when he was there for work during my confinement.

As usual, the mischevious fella gave me a 'tong of biscuit from Singapore' to test my reaction...haha

Thank you so much ah dear =) I love you (haha, not only because u give me iPod as present but so many things else)

It was totally unexpected but a very touching gesture though.

The 'push' season

Siew choo : 13 oct 2011

Jasslyn : 26 oct 2011

Choon hui's wife : 26 oct 2011

Myself : 30 oct 2011

Siew chui : 22 nov 2011

Juliet : 23 nov 2011

Within a period of a month plus, there are 6 of us labouring hard to bring our precious babies to this world.

No wonder they say towards the last quarter of the year is the 'hot' months where hospital maternity ward will be full, confinement aides fully booked, full moon related services having good business.

Looking at the rate & trend this is going, we will have more dragon babies next year.

To all mothers, no matter what people say, no matter how tough it was or will be... Just want to let you know you're doing great :)

Ps. Aside to my colleague Bonnie & yee leng, I just found out that we have a strange coincidence here.... Yee leng gave birth on 2/8/11 just 1 day before you(bonnie) come back to work on 3/8/11. And I gave birth on. 30/10/11 just 1 day before yee leng come back to work on 31/10/11.

To many things to write, I don't know where to start...

So many things happened after my last post on 28/10/11 ... That I don't know where to start.

But what I've been through are definitely life changing experiences ... That I wouldn't trade for anything else.

Allow me some time to set my thoughts straight & settle down...

Only then shall I be able to share these memories that will remain forever dear to me.

For whatever happened, I believed it happened for a reason.

I'm thankful ~ for when is the time for me to grow if not now?

MidAutumn Night's Dream

Don't worry, this shall not be a post on the play written by William Shakespeare.

It's just this particular dream that woke me up a while ago ...

If they have reality show on tv, this is what I call a 'reality dream' playing right before I woke up. Everything is so real.

It is like I'm doing exactly what I'm doing in the dream.

I'm sweating, I'm crying and I'm angry. I woke up with my exactly 'that face'

After this, I'll try to go back to sleep ... the night is too long to be awake. I need to rest.

Rest from reality. Hopefully I doesn't go into another 'reality' again.

Once, a friend told me, if you have terrible dreams, that means you have unresolved issues.

I bet that's true.

I hear this song ...

Amazing Grace

some time ago, a friend shared this song / gospel.

I didn't know the title but

and upon hearing the 1st few notes, I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

They just came down ..

I guess it must have been the memories I had ..

the very 1st time I heard this song was during mummy's funeral (albeit the chinese version)

and for the following don't know how many days / months / years ...

my heart has found solace in this gospel ..

because it will be accompanying mummy (and us) throughout this journey for a long long time.

At that time, I used to sing and hymm this song for mummy ... so that she'll not feel so lonely and afraid in her 'journey' and so that she know I'm with her always although we are 'far far apart'

Only god knows how how much I miss you ...

PRECIOUS (from BBWS 2011)

Guess how much this set of 'Brain Quest' would have cost me outside? When I found them ( only a few left) and a 'gentleman' is trying to conveniently grab them from my box, I gave him that 'stare' ...haha
You can take anything that's meant for me...but never anything that's meant for my children...













Omnibuses from some of my fav authors (like Danielle Steel, Dorothy Koomsoon, Nora Roberts, Ken Follett, David Baldacci) ... for RM10 each. Effectively, that's RM5 per story.











Golds ... some books which I've been wanting very much to read & own but didn't willing to part with my $$. The prospect of finding them was estatic ... particularly Nicholas Sparks - The last song & The lucky ones and Anchee Min - Empress Orchid & The last empress. RM8 each even for hardcover.













Some other books which I'm very glad to find ... Felt like hitting jackpot .. albeit a smaller windfall but nevertheless, never failed to bring smile.

















Some asian writings ... which I start to find intriguing and interesting. Perhaps it's due to the rich culture and something we are able to relate to.

Another set of books from parenting, self help and general ... these are treasures =) RM8 each except for Lilian Too feng shui - RM15.

Last but not least - children books ranging from RM3 - RM6. Except for the 300 over pages Disney storybook collection for RM12. Was lucky didn't get the lace & trace motor skill development kit from another bookfair earlier for RM27. Now I got something similar for RM6 (with six different designs inside) ... yippie.

wth...I've got more important things to attend to.

Today at this time, I'm supposed to be physically present at office testing for DR (Disaster Recovery) exercise.

But here I'm sitting at computer right @ home. Instead I conveniently ask help from another colleague to 'stand in' for me and conveniently told my boss that I'm not able to come and had make arrangement for it. I believe due credit must be given to my colleague for helping me.

I've got a 2nd chance today ... to attend to something which I've been longing to. Never mind that it's taking up a whole day, never mind that I may be rated 'irresponsible / under-performing' at work, never mind all that ...because to me, this is way more important.

till then, wish you have a good day too =)

花花世界花家姐

Just managed to finish watching this ... Next to complete is Secret Garden (Korean series).

next up, big bad wolf (local series) ... =p

previous weekend experiment

白果 fu chuk barley ....

I think I used the wrong type of 'fu chuk' as it took very long time to really melt.

Lesson : ask the shopkeeper for the type for boiling 'tong shui'

chicken leg mushroom + ang ku kueh - what they have in common?

last time it was this

now this

我和 '他' 有一个约会

Tomorrow (or rather today)

I'm having a date with 'him'

I've been eyeing 'him' for god knows how long before I dare to ask 'him' out.

Looking back, it must have been the fear of rejection, feeling of helplessness that were holding me back.

So, last week, I buck up the courage to ask 'him'

and he said 'YES'

I was elated. It was like having a big stone lifted from my heart.

So, now I'm sleepless over tomorrow's date.

It has been some time since I'm in the dating scene, so I wonder whether I'll be 'good enough'

I wonder how's it like when we meet, I'm worried about what should I wear, what are we going to do, what are we going to eat, and when it comes to paying ...

My heart is fluttering, so is my stomach ... how many hours more do I have to wait? Why time seem to pass so slowly...

how to use?

got this gym ball for RM5 from tesco ... now I'm learning how to use it.

This ball come right on time ... just when I need it =)

3000+ steps

Managed to reach 3000+ steps this morning ... although I lost some counts in between when seeing and greeting some neighbours.

Nevertheless, I feel good.

Yah, I know counting steps is childish and non-productive.

But it's effective to get my mind of my worries.

pencil & eraser

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm so...rry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on).

Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

"All my life, I've been the pencil.. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day.

For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have..."

This is to all the parents out there...

By: MacgyverWong Giok Aik

a quiet sunday morning

is what I need most currently

to sort out my life,

to calm my mind,

to accept all the 'shocks'

to get myself back

to finish my 'unfinished business'

God, please give me the strength to carry on..

signing off, preparing for a solitude walk around the neighbourhood to clear my mind, body & soul.

my sky is cloudy, I could not see clearly

It seems that I'm being given big cloud(s) everyday and I'm not sure how long can I hold in the rain before the downpour.

and because of these big cloud(s), I really cannot see clearly.

will I be able to survive through all these and see clearly again?

why are there so many many mountains for me to climb, so huge oceans for me to cross? ... I'm really very very tired.

my RM1 happiness

when I feel like I'm living 1 day at a time,

even a RM1 happiness is worth it...

(RM1 for 12 design pencils from tesco)

when nothing seem right, there must be something that's right..

Of late, nothing seem right ...

so many things happening that I no longer know what's right and what's wrong.

I feel my life at this juncture can qualify for a good drama script.

Every night when I sleep I hope things will go away

only to realise that it will come back the moment I wake up.

I want to cry but I didn't managed to cry.

I think I've slowly learnt to detach myself from myself.

bookfest 2011

the left stack for ah bi while the right stack for mama. Papa don't read paperbook =p

some free bookmark timetable from EPH publishing @ Bookfest 2011. Ah bi likes them.

babybook

Thank you to FL who brave the norm to get a copy of this complimentary book. I've finished reading the book. It is indeed an informative book complete with discount vouchers.

I'll pass this book around (and many other pregnancy & childcare books) for sharing =) do let me know if you need any ..hehe

ps. FL, thank you for the SMURF badge too. Got it!

they are ready but I'm not ...

The fabrics are waiting but I just realised that superstitiously I'm not suppose to sew.

So my project got to wait.

maybe this more time is meant to allow me to get more fabrics leftovers =)

Don' t go breaking my heart + Secret garden

Thanks to CY, I now have many nice movies / series / dramas to catch up =) really got back the joy of watching again.

now I know ..

I must admit that I'm not one who really take note & care about what I eat.

I used to almost always eat everything edible without paying much attention to GI / calories / content of the food.

It wasn't until a few days ago that I was to deal with a blow right in my face. I could not longer eat as I used to. Now I have to be very careful with what I put inside my mouth and swallow.

Now I know how it feels like when we feel like eating something but we can't.

To tell you I'm not sad, it's not true.

To tell you that it didn't affect me, it's not true.

But it's not the end, it's only the beginning.

I'm learning to deal with it.

I'm aware that I still have a long long way to go.

ps. and to a friend who went all the way to give me a booklet on foods & calories guide. Thank you so much for lending me your support and listening ears. Hopefully my results are ok.

thank you gals for the night

Thank you to my friends for taking time for the night. You may not know how much it meant to me =) All I can say is : it is ALOT =)

drug addict?

save junior save

Some 20 over years ago, I still remember those times when I fill up my piggy banks as soon as I possibly could just because I wanted to have more lines in my passbooks ... I thought the more lines I have, the more money I have (without realising that more lines could mean more withdrawal / debits..haha),

because I wanted to get more freebies when I go to the banks. Banks during that era were generous to their junior savers.

I remember not only getting free piggy banks various edition, quarterly children magazines, some stationeries, some drawstring bags, some other goodies.

Fast forward, we opened junior savings account for our children ... I'm secretly waiting for the day when I can bring them with their filled piggy banks to the bank and teach them the benefits of saving (even a dollar a day ... yes, it has to be at least a dollar a day cause a cent a day doesn't really work anymore).

Although I've introduced ah bi to piggy bank and putting coins inside, but I think this is more of a practice of fine motor skills development rather than inculcate savings...don't think can understand yet.

meanwhile, while waiting for ah bi to grasp the understanding of savings, this mother is adding more lines to ah bi's junior account=p

This mother is parking some of her monthly cashflow (pending to pay bills) in ah bi's account to earn a little more interest. Yes, this mother can be this 'calculative' in this sense ... but like I always say a penny earned is a penny earned.

Note that : a junior savings account can offer interest return as competitive as FD rates (2.5%pa - 3.0%pa) whereas a normal adult savings account offer only (0.1%pa - 1%pa).

Now if you are me, where would you put your money?

freeeeee gifts....

Lately, I feel I'm lucky.

Last Thursday, receive a blue storage box from the milk powder company that ah bi drink.

Last Saturday, receive this cute cuddly bunny rabbit from another milk powder company that mama didn't drink.

Milk powder companies today are good at making us mother & children happy =p

Btw, in malaysia, in effort to encourage breastfeeding, milk powder companies are not allowed to give free gift / gift redemption for infant milk powder & milk powder for babies up to 12 months.

falling in love = 走火入魔? =p

阿信与丁当-走火入魔

i like the way the lyricist put it...

falling in love to me is really like 走火入魔 ... hahaha