Growing and improving every day

She is growing and improving each day albeit at her own pace. Today she shared with me a secret how she can remember what she learnt or need to remember. She said : do revision of the thing to remember before sleep. Then before you sleep after you off the light, you say the things that you want to remember out loud. You photostat (copy) the thing that you want to remember in your brain and you go through it again in your brain. You will remember it tomorrow when you wake up in the morning.

I'm grateful she found a way that can help her be better in her learning. I'm grateful that God showed her the way and showed me the way. Thank you

 

Do what we love in life

 Life is short. Why would we want to waste our time doing what we hate? Why am I getting all my priorities in life mixed up? Plan for myself & my family. Have backup plan and build multiple streams of income. Volunteer and do something I'm passionate about. Exercise and take care of mental wellness. Focus on building relationship with family and children. Practice self care because nothing is more important than this body who work so hard to keep us alive.

Volunteer

 This year I'm going to sign up to be a volunteer. It could be to teach under privilege students or to serve under privileged community. Also it can be helping out during Wesak Day. I will ask around and explore ways how I can help to make a difference 1 action at a time. I vow to bring my children along to join serving the community.

Now that I have the urge, let's hit the iron while it's hot. Let's get started exploring what are the avenue / NGO I can join to contribute. Do share with me if you know of any charity looking for volunteers, thank you

Let go

To hold, you must first open your hand. Let go

How true

I'm trying my level best to learn to let go. 

To learn that there's only that much a person can do. 

To learn that I'm a human with limitations.

To learn that I can't please everyone 

To learn that I have my own life to live and my own path to walk

and to learn not to care much about what others think

Hello 2023

The few seconds before 2023 were spent with my children welcoming a brand new year while trying to catch a few glimpse of the mini fireworks from our room window.

Earlier my daughter had made a video of new year wishes. We were still in holiday mode as I was on leave and we just came back from family trip. 2022 was with ups and downs and I'm thankful for every moment of it. Some days bringing me sweat and tears, some days bringing me heartwarming love from family and friends, somedays are so hard that I feel like giving up but looking back everything happen for some reasons (and act as reminders).

2023 ... we wish it is a better year for all of us, if it's a rough year, may God let me have the strength and wisdom to pull through. This is the year of change for me (change for better) and to live my life in the present the best way possible.

We are 13 days nearer to end of 2023...so I vowed to give my best for the remaining 352 days and be grateful for every day that I'm waking alive and breathing

last post for year 2022

Today is 31/12/2022 and last day of year 2022. It has been a year filled with ups and downs. It is also a year of 'wake up call' for me. Many things happened and some really make think thrice about what have I done so far..

is it really how I want to leave my life? 

Am I wasting my life away doing something I detest? 

Why can't I just for once live for myself? Life is short and I'm halfway already.

My children are growing up fast and I sort of regret not spending enough time with them. Seriously what's the use earning money trying to make a living when I couldn't be there for them when they need me most. Sad..

So come 2023, I'm finding my way out of the rut, going to do what is important to me, going to focus on my priorities (my children, my family, my life, my health). I'm just a normal human with my flaws and limitations. I'm with limited time and resources so I do not waste in on things that does not matter..I'm sorry but this can only be the way forward. And for once, i have this strong urge to venture into education industry educating our future generation.

And I'm starting my own youtube channel to share some info and raise public awareness. My motto for tomorrow : just do it (wrong or right never mind, as long as I get started and even if wrong, I take corrective action from there)

Last but not least, thank you 2022 for a wonderful year that gave me a wake up call on what are the important things in my life and making me realised that me and only me can make the change.

1% improvement everyday

I do not know since when I start to believe that we can improve 1% everyday and by the end of 1 year..we would have improved by at least 365% (which is alot)

The 1% improvement could be from our personal life, children studies, work life, health, mental health, habits, productivity, self care, investment, learning and application.... it could almost be anything.

I try to brainwash my children to approach life using this concept too.. because like how Plato put it : Never discourage anyone who continually make progress, no matter how slow' 

So now instead of lamenting, I make effort to be thankful that me & my children are learning at least 1% everyday and grateful for having the opportunity to learn and grow.

8/9/2022 - my wake up call

8/9/2022 on this particular day, something happened to me. I consider it a wake up call to me. I literally almost work myself to near death. I'm not going to hide but it's something I'm bare to open to admit my self-negligence. 

Basically, I got so worried, so anxious, so panic about the amount of pressure and work that I broke down. I was crazy enough to let all the burden on myself. I was crazy enough not knowing to escalate and let go, thinking if I try on my level best, I may be able to settle it. However, this lesson definately give me a wake up call that I'm definately not capable of doing so. And why so stupid to burden my soul with those things that doesn't really even matter to me at all. 

So from that day till today, I'm learning and still learning to let go, to draw the line and to shout for help when I need it, to be brave to voice my view and have my rights exercised, to basically learn to love myself more cause the work without me is nothing, it will move on. But my family without me is a great deal and I don't want that to happen prematurely.

So to the person writing this.. You are ENOUGH. You have to LIVE for YOURSELF because this is YOUR LIFE. It's ok to FALL and FAIL, but STAND BACK UP and CONTINUE ON.

I'm really grateful to my those who helped me and saved my life in the time of need. Thank you for saving my life. I could be gone if not for your fast action. Thank you and may GOD bless you all. 

It feel good to declutter / give away / throw

Last Saturday, I managed to get rid of 4 boxes of recyclable items .. ie. cardboxes from packaging, old VCDs (if you still remember what they are:) recyclable plastic items, old clothes and some preloved books.

i have to say it feel so good to be able to clear the stuffs that have been sitting at my home for so long because they stop taking recycle stuffs from a few months back. Previously they use to collect recyclable items and garden compost every Thursday.

I feel that my burden are lifted ... perhaps the clutter has been a nagging need-to-do item at the back of my brain giving me invisible stress. I feel at last I managed to do something after promising dear for so long that I'll clear the clutters at home.

With this in mind, I'm looking forward to more clearing and decluttering sessions which actually helps to calm us down. My dream to make our home clutter free although I've been trying for so many years... but still I refused to give up and will even work harder towards my goals.  Till then...wish us luck :)

Getting comfort from out of comfort zone

This year, I decided to get a little more comfort from being out of my comfort zone. I'm reading 'chicken soup for life' - something which I love in chinese language (which is something out of my comfort zone)

I'm starting with 'a page a day keep the worry away'

I'm starting to love the chinese language...it's a beautiful language full of wisdom and a single character alone can have many meaningful interpretation.

I'm glad I stumbled upon these books @ Popular bookshop .. they are my new treasures.

doing what is best at the moment

 For the 1st time, she told me she wanted to go for art class. For the 1st time, she reminded me when i forgot to do research for art class. For the 1st time, she told me she wanted to join the real class right after the trial class. For the 1st time she treasured her drawing and creation so much. For the 1st time, she asked me if I have enrolled her for the art class and for the 1st time, she asked me if I have the money to pay for her art class.

Perhaps it's true that when it comes to things that we are passionate about, we have this internal motivation to get us moving towards our passion.

This is perhaps 1 of the best thing I could do at this moment..to give her support and guidance towards her strength and passion. Every child is god's gift from heaven... this I believe is true 

grow grow growing - even the beds have to grow together

When children grow, our beds have to grow together

From sleeping in the same room to sleeping in separate room.

From 3 tilam to 4 tilam

It means they are growing and I'm truly thankful 

Give .. and we can make a difference

In this difficult time, I decided to help wherever I can. And I want to guide my children to chip in doing it. So this birthday, beside planting a tree each month and making seed bombs, I have decided to donate to orphanage cash and books. Hopefully these little angels have better days ahead and pay it forward when they grow up. 

So, this birthday I'm planting trees and seeds of education for our children of tomorrow. Let's do it together one tree at a time, 1 seed at a time for 1 child at a time. 

feeling serai (read : sir-ray-ee)

For a person who do not have green fingers, nothing beats the satisfaction of harvesting own fruits roots of labour.

Capturing the mess, the grass and the roots of serai (lemongrass)

The end product which distributed among relatives, neighbours and colleagues

9 years already

Mi,

I've always wonder what it is like if you are still around. 

I know I shouldn't think too much ... but I couldn't help it.

Yesterday, when I told your grandchildren how much I love them, 

I couldn't help to add : I love you very very very much just like how I love popo.

Life for your husband and children has its fair share of ups and downs.

Some we managed to pull through, some we are pulling through.

wherever you are, take care mi,

don't worry about us 

I love you forever

I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you

English song is not something I listen to frequently.
Somehow I just couldn't figure the full lyrics of the song while listening to it (blame it on my half baked English)
However, this song stands out.
I just fall in love with it the 1st moment I heard it.
I never found out the name of the song but when my eldest asked me what song do I want to listen to on youtube.
I told him "I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you"
and I added "This is one of mama's favourite song"
So they will get excited and exclaim that is 'mama's favourite song' each time we heard it played somewhere sometime.

Then today, something got into me that I went searching for the lyrics
and you got it right
It even got better and more meaningful.
Here to share a beautiful song (also to have it archived due to my deteoriating memory) 

Meghan Trainor Ft John Legend Like I'm Gonna Lose You Lyric

Hello 2016 Goodbye 2015

Years and again, there will be this loooooong overdue new year post
(despite years of resolutions to overcome procrastination!)

So here we are 18 days after we step into 2016.
Had a few new beginnings this year especially for our children.

this year these will be my objectives : 

• Living the moment 
• Presence as present

For the crossover (and till now), glad we have been doing some great home improvements. 

Nothing major nothing drastic, just some serious decluttering, rearrangements and 

most importantly adding more 'warmth' to our home sweet home.

Most likely to be busy till the lunar new year come. 
Till then, take care & have a good year everyone! =)

source : google image

keeping me alive

sources : facebook share