Getting comfort from out of comfort zone

This year, I decided to get a little more comfort from being out of my comfort zone. I'm reading 'chicken soup for life' - something which I love in chinese language (which is something out of my comfort zone)

I'm starting with 'a page a day keep the worry away'

I'm starting to love the chinese language...it's a beautiful language full of wisdom and a single character alone can have many meaningful interpretation.

I'm glad I stumbled upon these books @ Popular bookshop .. they are my new treasures.

creating something meaningful

Last weekend, I threw an idea out to my eldest ... what if we create a video to teach young children (and ourselves) about collective nouns? In case some of us forget about what's collective nouns ... it's like English penjodoh bilangan (ie. a school of dolphins)

And I started asking questions like :

• What program can we use to create video?
• How should our story board be?
• Who's going to read and how can we record our sound?
• What can we do to get started?
• Where can we upload our video so children can learn? 

So my eldest started exploring and I shared with him one of my goals of having an educational channel where children can learn the simple and relaxing way.

And I got him onboard and even suggested perhaps we can upload a video a week / a fortnight for a start. We spend Saturday afternoon and night completing the 1 minute+ video with him doing most of the job while I cheer him on. He created a new user account and just like that we uploaded our 1st video on collective nouns for animals. 

And we brainstorm with more ideas on the following video contents ranging from collective nouns for fruits and things, animal gender names, idioms, proverb, synonyms, antonyms,vocabulary etc. Please do let us know if there are any topics you would like us to explore.

Nothing great nothing fancy about the video. It was simple & minimal but I'm feeling happy we got started and I'm thankful my children buy into the idea of sharing what we know and learn together. And putting what we know to good use and at the same time pick up a skill or two in the process. 

If you would like to have a look at what came out from that eventful 15 Jan 2022, Saturday effort, please click here : https://youtu.be/k2mF6kTSGxY

2021 last quarter is just 1 day away, what do you plan to do?

One more day and we are entering the last quarter of year 2021. 

For the last quarter, I would want to germinate and grow my money like my plants. Wish me luck as I would like have a breakthrough this year and continue next year.

Germinating lucky bamboo plant

Growing coconut tree

Germinating moringa tree

Germinating mulberry

Germinating air plants

something to get me off the chair

 At times, my perseverance can be less than desired especially when it comes to keeping myself active. I'm not sure how or where I discovered this app but it's a good one (for me at least), it offers us reward ie. discount vouchers which can be claimed when we reach a certain level (based on average steps per month). Discount vouchers covers quite a variety of service providers ie. grocery stores, pharmacy and organic chain, health spa, health products..etc

Needless to say, the more average steps you have for the month, the better and more worthwhile the rewards.

And to motivate us, there are various challenges (both FOC and some with minimal charges) where you can walk/run at your own pace and yet still take part for greater cause or donation contribution. They also offer e-medal and e-cert and those paid challenges comes with goodies bag and T-shirt as well.

This app allow me to kill many birds with 1 stone ... a good concept. Most importantly it managed to get my butt off the chair. So far I've consistently clocking in steps daily for 2 months. 

The best part, this app managed to keep me moving and keep pushing me to wake up early to go collect steps. 

Let's hope it's not hangat hangat tahi ayam ... at least not for this time. 

Walk, keep walking because we never know where we'll reach one day

Hello 2016 Goodbye 2015

Years and again, there will be this loooooong overdue new year post
(despite years of resolutions to overcome procrastination!)

So here we are 18 days after we step into 2016.
Had a few new beginnings this year especially for our children.

this year these will be my objectives : 

• Living the moment 
• Presence as present

For the crossover (and till now), glad we have been doing some great home improvements. 

Nothing major nothing drastic, just some serious decluttering, rearrangements and 

most importantly adding more 'warmth' to our home sweet home.

Most likely to be busy till the lunar new year come. 
Till then, take care & have a good year everyone! =)

source : google image

Book hoarder

I've got no choice. I think I'll have to admit I'm a book hoarder.
Someone told me I've got 5 years worth of books to read.
At the rate I'm sweeping up books at Viva Popular and Big Bad Wolf Sale(BBWS), and the rate I'm reading nowadays, I think 5 years would have been a conservative estimate.

But but but, allow me to share my side of the story ...
It's has got to do with a complex mixture of feelings 
the greed for reading .. that's one of the evergreen entertainment I get to enjoy.
the need to reward myself (after so much hardwork) .. since I don't really spend much on clothes / shoes / beauty products.
the kiasu'ness that I may not be able to get hold on that 'particular' book .. and at a fraction of it's actual price.
the hope that I've something to look forward to reading / knowing
the need to soothe the soul .. think retail therapy & that reading takes off the mind from fire-fighting situations.
the little secret of hoping to have a mini library @ home .. where my children & me get to spend time together indulging ourselves in books.
the hopeful wish that I'll have more time to read after my children grow up ... now I get to enjoy 2 page max of peaceful reading (scan through) before something crop up that requires immediate attention.

Nevertheless, despite having said all the above.
I think I took it a little too far.
I may be gone way before I get to finish the books I have.
So for the coming BBWS 2015, I take a stand to not go mellow down & limit myself.
*Hit forehead* Bad habits die hard ... sigh

ps. my goodreads.com tells me that I'm currently only reached 50% of my target of reading 12 books for 2015 (with another 1 and a half month to go).
My only consolation : better half than never. 

2015 ... after 8 month & 14 days

sorry for the long hiatus

things came and gone, gave it a thousand thoughts but it still come and go.

I still have a few unfinished (perhaps unstarted post sitting with spider webs)

these 8 months and 14 days were not simple,

a lot of decisions made, good or bad some we may not know till later.

However, there were things that I've not done despite the urgency.

it reflects how bad is my level of procrastination.

We have a leaking roof for almost 2 years now. 

and only a few days ago I called the roof contractor (who's very busy and no time to layan me).
anyone got good contacts to recommend? 

It's a long list of things need to get done but I don't wish to bore you, so I'm leaving it there strictly on my to-do-list.

I realised I've been more selfish, looking after my welfare and those of my love ones.

Cause I realised if I don't look after myself & love ones, who will?

my littlest one is 2 now, quite a milestone for this little girl. 

I've many many people to thank 

and I've learnt and still learning many many things

It's great we have managed for 8 months 14 days so far.

hoping for just a simple and happy 3 months 17 days to go. 

it's fun, it's engaging, it's GCC

I'm definately one who doesn't take own initiative to go exercise.

If only I have the time, I'd rather spend them catching 40 winks if not more.

But about 2-3 weeks ago, when we received an email from HR with the title 

"Are you up for challenges?" 

I know my life is going to change, lifestyle to be exact.

Such a thing actually exist

they call it GCC - Global Corporate Challenge

Many many groups of 7 from many many companies from many many countries is in a race around the world on FEET (well, you can still cycle / swim / row).

You can get to know more about this at https://www.gettheworldmoving.com/

In the email, it says there will be allocation for 10 teams of 7 people from Malaysia.

This was an initiative from HQ in Singapore.

There are many healthy and fit exercisers who will be interested in my organisation. 

So, I didn't waste time. And I was not afraid of the challenges.

I started shooting emails to almost everyone deem 'shall be interested' that I know in the organisation except my bosses.

Well, as usual ....

(a) I got ignored and rejected nicely except for 3 closer colleagues. 

(b) Others have intention of joining, but definately not with me (I'm look sluggish @ work at times due to my sleep debt)

(c) When I try to join their team, I'm sort of not welcomed.

So I took the matter to heart hand. 

it's going to get me to be more physically active, get healthier, lead better lifestyle, and it's free with the endorsement to do from HR. So why not? 

I decided since no one wanted me to join their team, I will form my own team.

When I say I form my own team, means people will expect I'll be the captain.

I'm desperate so just be it.

So I started another round of member-searching.

My team now consist of a very unique blend :

a mom of 3 in 50s

another mom of 2 who's breastfeeding

a very soft spoken, polite and delicate lady

a young intern guy (which later got rejected due to not permanent staff)

a guy who told me he's using the escalator @ LRT station when I approach him to join this ...haha

a jovial girl who was introduced by a season runner who turned me down.

a mom of 1 who loves coffee and whatever bollywood

and me who's the 'most unlikely' captain for such a race ... haha 

So we enrolled, not knowing whether we get in the 1st 10 group.

So we name team 7-UP  

7 of us to get UP and moving

After a few days, I was sad.

Another team that enrolled much later was selected. They received the notification email from HR.

I was unhappy because I didn't like the kind of 'unfairness'.

I had the urge to call and question the coordinator but I didn't.

It was just right before going home, I received email notification (as team captain) that we are in. 

So on the 26/5/15, we had a briefing by the GCC ASIAN representative. 

But our 'pulse' a device to track steps and movement is not here yet. They are giving us 2, 1 as backup.

The GCC start worldwide on 27/5/15. 

There were some delay, so this is our day 3 with missed tracking. 

Those with their own tracking devices can start to input their steps already.

We are spiraling downwards in the race leader board. 

But then, realistically our team, we say just doesn't want to be last in our organisation. 

But then again, if it become a fact that we are the last, we have gained a lot already (this one I didn't tell the team la...)

The 'pulse' supposed to reach us today. 

We are all very excited and looking forward. 

But life is not always so easy 

Even in same organisation, we got clash of team name. Meaning there are 2 team who call themselves 7-UP.

I call the other team captain to negotiate, she say her team refuse to change and my negotiation skill sucks.
So we changed ours to RAINBOW - 7 colours add up do wonders, reaches the end of the world with a pot of gold at the end. sounds like RAMBO too with the courage to take challenge (how my team members put it).

Got the pulse yesterday afternoon.
Clock in a personal best of 6048 steps. Nothing to brag about.
But running up and down the stairs at home as a result of forgot to bring children stuff upstairs does contribute quite a number of steps... LOL

Let's us go around the world (virtually) and get healthier...
1 step at a time ... Cheers 

ps. if you see walking around like a fool, you know what I'm up to... LOL

stop worrying, start living

I have been a worry wart and am still a worry wart.

and I worry myself sick.
worry is like invisible stress that slowly kills
and I think I'm caught in that big black hole of endless worrying.
There's always something which I worry about ... my children, my family...
It's tiring. 
I'm exhausted 
but I couldn't stop myself from worrying.
When people tell me not to worry too much, 
I used to say 'I also hope I can' 
but sometimes in my heart, I will think it's easier to say than to do.
Now, when I think back, these people actually meant good.
They didn't want me to worry too much because worry can actually kill.
What more is when you worry all by yourself, dare not share burden with others.

So today, after being 'reminded' by a friend past few days,
I decided I STOP worrying and START LIVING.
For each time my worry come into my mind, I will do a blessing instead ... action & thought.
Somethings if meant to happen will happen.
Somethings happened for some reasons.
So living in the PRESENT, doing whatever I can NOW is all that matter.
I'm only HUMAN. 

which one should come 1st?

my to do list 

getting more and more each day 

(and mind you, one piece of note paper has more than 1 to do item)

sometimes, I have this feeling that 24 hours really not enough

if write, I feel overwhelmed ... got so many things to do, which one should do 1st (has not included daily routines which need to be done)

if no write, also '4' cause I couldn't remember a thing I need to do and end up with nothing done and very disorganised.

yes, I know there are apps which can help me track and send reminders, 

but the old fashioned me still find nothing beats cancelling off an item completed on the notice board.

and out of the so many things that need to be done ... 

I sometimes wonder how many is of it is really for ME

the truth is I dare not venture into THAT, afraid of knowing the answer. 

February is the new january ... resolutions after CNY

This year I reso :
1. sleep early 
2. exercise
3. be healthy 
4. spend more quality time with family
5. do the best I can, one small thing at a time
6. be thankful, be grateful
7. unplug - back to basic 

lucky i still have u

For the past few weeks & months, life has not been easy for me.
work wise also very bumpy, so much so that I feel like giving up because it's affecting me health wise.
But lucky I still have you .. 
who's still there for me even when I show my ugly dark side
who try to cheer me up when I hit the bottom
who tell me things that I refuse to listen and let me see things that I couldn't see through

thank you for the sewing machine and little radio which allow me to seek comfort.
We will together little by little make our effort build our little home sweet home ... even if it's a little brick a day.

splurging again

I lied. I said I was not going to buy anymore clothes this year.
The year has not ended but I've bought 5 new ones at one go (yes, you read right 5 at one go).
And I stupidly paid about RM116 so willingly..
This has got to be my most impulsive purchase so far this year. 
My weakness is when they are on 70% and 80% row.
I bought it while ah dear was overseas .. 
didn't want to let him know initially but I ended up telling him that
'I've spent money again buying clothes' which according to him I seldom wear.

Really this time, no more buying clothes till a year later.
This time it's going to take whatever I have to stop myself.

亲爱的妈妈

Mother's Day never failed to bring me a bag full of mixed feelings.
it also never failed to bring me a bag full of memories with my mother (for that's all I have /left now).
I heard & found a song which can quite sum up what I want to say to you, mummy. 
I wonder whether you receive it..


Happy mother's day to all mothers! =) 




ps. till next post, see how the interviewers hinted me that i may have it all messed up, led me to believe so and had me asking my little kiddies whether what I'm doing is right or wrong?...

Apr 2012

from last month list, I only managed to achieve : 

(a) save RM50 for sewing machine

(b) update resume & start looking

(c) kid vaccination

(d) soft biz launch - started acquisition & selling

(e) another mini pillow (completed just yesterday & ah bi is sleeping hugging it now)

the rest I can say 'sudah masuk longkang'

For April,

1. vaccination & checkup

2. do income tax

3. submit claim

4. (at least) 1 book 1 month 

5. 30 chinese words/phrases

6. continue rm50 saving for sewing machine

7. sleep more, rest more, exercise more

8. arrange for free medical check up

9. housework - reduce backlog to less than 1 week.

10. review portfolio & re-strategize.

11. revive cooking kiddie meals. 

1st Q 的 last month

For Feb
1. bring kid for vaccination & check up - yes
2. Finish cleaning children's cupboard - yes (actually just unloaded about half of content to babysitter's home)
3. Complete projects : (a) baby cubes - yes (b) baby mobile - yes (c) baby comfort pillow in sufficient sets -not yet4. finish at least 1 book - yes (Empress Orchid by Anchee Min - nice read)
5. Learn at least 29 chinese characters - partial (i didn't managed a full 29 characters/phrases)
6. Adapt to 'back to work' routine ... establish nursing schedule, getting ready baby stuff for babysitter... - slowly getting used
7. settle banking & household errands before start work - failed. all not settled yet.
8. review portfolio and make new plans - failed. Need to really find time & capital.
9. introduce new things to kids - yes
10. Adjust sleep pattern & EXERCISE - failed - sleep pattern still eratic and definately no EXERCISE

So for March 2012

1. kid vaccination & check up

2. update resume & start looking

3. to complete (c) baby comfort pillow (d) taggy handkerchief

4. preparation work - setup small business

5. Another book for March

6. Another 31 chinese characters

7. start income tax submission 功夫

8. portfolio review + increase income, reduce expenses plan 

9. spend more time with kids especially elder one

10. Exercise

11. start a RM50 / month saving fund for sewing machine

12. mark off at least 1 item on my home improvement project list 

从零开始, 从头开始

Tomorrow, I'll be starting again right from the beginning ..
1st thing 1st, I'll need to adjust my biological time table back to normal.
Although I didn't manage to complete all that I intended to do during the holidays..
I'm glad and thankful that I did reached a few milestones. 
So from here onwards, I'm walking towards a new kilometre.
hope everything work out just fine. 

my monthly investment : the crazy & desperate version

Yup, the RM1.20 / month investment I've been working on for the past few months.
Why still using this method? 
Cause it will still yield same result (hopefully).
The calculation : 
Each sms cost RM1, so if I want to 'invest' in 9 'stocks' for that particular month, I need to fork out RM9.
whereas this method, I need RM0.60 stamp x 2 envelopes (different magazine) = RM1.20.
Yes, I have to resort to petty petty things like this to help me survive the ever increasing costs...haha. 


Well, if you ask me, I'll continue doing this until one day the company gives me a call and say "Pleassse STOP sending in. You're NOT going to win ANYTHING so don't waste your postage fee" ... 
well, at least they are going to tell me. If I'm sending sms, all I receive is an automated message thanking me for participating. The sms won't say ""Pleassse STOP sms in. You're NOT going to win ANYTHING so don't increase your hanphone bill"  

now what?

Now what? 
Time for review Jan and set for Feb lor...

So to start of with Jan's 
1. Gather up enough money to repay debt + prepare angpows + buy CNY gifts for close relatives.  (死都要死出来啊!  没办法!)  Done
2. Meet up with family & friends ... re-establish my social life after so many days within 4 walls.  Done & doing
3. Eat good & healthy food to meet to ensure pass QC for 'susu cap ibu'.  Done & doing
4. Spring clean for CNY & reorganise wardrobe for whole family. Spring clean failed. Reorganised wardrobe mine done, children's in progress.
5. Finish clearing my over-the-years magazine piles Done
6. Bring kid for vaccination & monthly check as scheduled. Done
7. Start kid on cloth diaper for day time.  Doing
8. Sleep like a normal person do (err...I mean the hours) Failed with slight improvement
9. Curb my addiction for online shopping/shopping with the excuse of CNY. So far so good. 
10. Exercise .. really exercise. No, housework and chasing kids around not considered. very failed
11. Get ready & pack all the stuffs which I want to donate to the charity lorry before they come. at last I managed to although not all


For Feb
1. bring kid for vaccination & check up
2. Finish cleaning children's cupboard
3. Complete projects : (a) baby cubes (b) baby mobile (c) baby comfort pillow in sufficient sets

calendarsdesign.blogspot.com

4. finish at least 1 book
5. Learn at least 29 chinese characters
6. Adapt to 'back to work' routine ... establish nursing schedule, getting ready baby stuff for babysitter...
7. settle banking & household errands before start work.
8. review portfolio and make new plans 
9. introduce new things to kids 
10. Adjust sleep pattern & EXERCISE

new year new ant-venture

Even the tiny weeny ant decided to bully me now =p

Past midnight, as I was putting milk into the freezer, 

I suddenly felt something invaded my ear.

It felt itchy at first, I couldn't be bother thinking it's ear wax (hoho... cause few days didn't gorek telinga ma)

Then I started to hear noises, feel very uncomfortable as though a butterfly / bug is fluttering its wings and circling in my ear.

I shouted for help .. haha, yes I panic easily. 

Of course, the only available immediate help was ah dear lo.

I told him I think got insects go inside my ear ah (jumping around and pointing to my left ear)

He laughed ... can you believe it? (and he even choose the most canggih flashlight ^^!)

He shone inside my ear and said 'No ah, nothing inside also'

I said 'Got la, doing gymnastic inside'

He shone again and said 'Nothing wo. Itchy because of ear-shit is it?'

Then I feel pain inside my ear ... as thought being bitten...then nothing

I thought since dear cannot see anything, it could be just my ear-shit.

When I walked to the sofa to sit down, 

I feel something seem to be lost inside my ear tunnel, got panic and couldn't find way out. Then it became frustrated with the long grass(hair) and bumpy road (ear-shit) that it started to bite.

I rushed toward my sometimes 'knight in shining armour' and grab his hand.

"Really got la, some more know how to bite one, faster see again" I demanded.

'DON'T HAVE. NOTHING' ... he then got the ear-digger.

I insisted there's something inside and I'm feeling very uncomfortable.

He wanted to dig my ear but I was afraid that this might push the insect further in.

He suggested I put water into my ear to force that fella out. I also scare. Scare that fella tenggelam and cause infection.


******* DO YOU KNOW HOW TO REMOVE INSECT FROM OUR EAR? *******

Suddenly I remembered last time, in primary school, they got teach to shine light into the ear because insects will move towards light.

I ask dear to search internet how to remove insect from ear ... suprisingly we still have time  to google =p

I felt something crawling out slowly and asked dear to see ...

It was dear 'ANT' ... no wonder ah dear cannot see anything la.

haha...now I understand why they say even elephant also scare of rat.

REMINDER TO MYSELF : 

It's time for me to learn & brush up on first aid. 

But first of all, I think I really need to learn to be CALM.