Impatient monster

 I've turned into an impatient monster ... 
one with the slogan of "faster...hurry up...quick quick quick" ...

I'm not sure what happened but I'm in a rush all day long. It feels like I don't have enough time to do everything.

But the worst part of it is that I rush everyone around me too. I rush my children to eat, to bath, to finish homework, to sleep until my children ask me one day : why are we always rushing mama? 

It created anxiety and when everyone is anxious, temper flare up easily (in my case).

As much as I would like to blame technology and the current culture of instant gratification we are all trapped in, I have myself to blame. I should have control over how I response to external stimuli. Why should I let them control me? 

Easier said than done (now, imagine your boss asking you something in whatsapp and expecting you to reply instantly...haha)

Now I understand how my children feel when I keep rushing them all the time.

Starting now, I'm going to take deep breathe each time I want to say the 'f**t word. and ask myself wth am I rushing?

It's ok to not be ok

I started 2021 by attending 2 webinar about mental health. My objectives are to learn coping strategies and to know if I'm alright (seriously!)

I've almost been staying home (and try staying sane) for most part of the year since MCO started last year (around Mar) and I thinking it has started taking a toll on all of us.

On one hand, I'm thankful for the amount of time we get to spend together as family but on the other hand, I'm worry about children development (not limited to their studies, social, growth, physical & mental health and the list goes on...)

Back to the webinar...and it brought me to this K-drama : It's ok to not be ok (even the title itself is already enticing not to mention the actor & actress) 

Well, I've learnt to let go and shift my paradigm. No point carrying the burden and hurting everyone in the process. We try our best, let God do the rest.

ps. It's really ok to not be ok