break up

Today, I felt gloomy & down from the moment I step into the office till the moment I leave.
This kind of feeling is like you have something invisible pulling you down, weighing down on your heart.
From today, the 2 desk next to me (my left & right) will be empty. Gone are those days when I can just turn either way & start babbling away.
They broke us up and they chuck us all in different territories ... left to fend for ourselves in unchattered water.
Who knows how battered will we be by the end of the day?
Who knows what will become of us in the future?

somethings are meant to be put together before they can flourish ... put them apart, either they don't mean anything or they will fade ... take jigsaw for example.

until this stage, there's nothing much left that can be done ...
like any time in our lives ... we just have to carry on ... move forward ... accept that this are realities in life.

To the two of you (sitting to me left & right previously in the office) ... I love you.
You both have brought special meaning to my life ... I cherish those moments we spent together. Wishing you both the best of everything in life.

heart breaking

It's heart wrenching ... heart breaking to see news on the dragon boat incident.
When I looked at the headline of The Sun newspaper today ... with it a photo of a mother (& family members) crying for her son ... I feel very very sad.
My prayers to the dearly departed & their loved ones.

hear it straight from a 'near' encounter

what's wrong with me?

I feel so darn sleepy and yet I refuse to sleep ...
what have become of me?

The past 3 weeks or so ... I've been very busy
both at work n at home.
As though 24 hours is not enough for me
So many things to do ... so little time to rest n relax.
I'm overwhelmed.

Every day after work without fail I'll be nodding my head all the way home in the LRT.
Tired ... exhausted ... both the body & mind.
too many things occupying my hours ...
I think my mind/body is working 'terrificly' even when I'm asleep.
I'm coping with new additions both in my personal & working life ...
why do we have to conform to others' expectations?
why do we have so much things we want to achieve in life?
sometimes I think I live for everyone except myself ... pathetic isn't it?
I'll remain standing ... this I know
For how long ... this I'm not sure

meanwhile, I think I better grab some sleep 1st ... whatever happen tomorrow ... tomorrow only worry ... sleep is more important now.
haha...I know I'm grumbling
cause this is what I do when I'm darn sleepy n refuse to sleep

I sit like this, U sit like that

ah dear drew this a moment ago in his attempt to show how I sit ...
this was after I denied being hunchback & insisted that he also sit the same way like me

According to the sit-fu, the picture on the left is how he sit and the right is how I sit.
such a great sit-fu !! =D muahaha...
Now I've a clear pic of how I sit with my back bent .... this explain the back ache I sometimes experience.

2009 or 2010?

Suddenly I'm at a lost ...
I've not review my 2009
I've not set my reso for 2010
everything is happening too fast ... it seem like I'm still continuing from 2009 ...
wake up ...eat ... sleep ... wake up ... eat ... sleep
i think I'm experiencing hangover effect of 2009.

Perhaps, I really need to spend a little time to myself
Sit down (or maybe stand up) and think ... think really hard
be more specific with what I want
be more understanding to myself

Nevertheless, thanks to all of you for being with me all along...the ups and the downs.

On another unrelated matter
ps. I've just witnessed non-stop lightning on the night sky - more than 5 minutes and still on-going (something I've never seen before) ... ah dear told me 2012 is coming.
Suddenly I'm afraid. I'm worried. Is it true? what if it all really end?
I've not live enough ... I've not love enough ...
I'm a 'KIASI' after all.
There are people (and animal) whom I need to love, protect and care. I can't abandon them.