wth...i have a library list?

I have a very bad habit ...
I couldn't stop buying books ... although I've sort of tone down my addiction (thankful to my group of buddies who remind me when I have the urge ...hohoho).
I'm very well aware of the fact that I'm not capable of reading as fast as I replenish my stock but I still went ahead and buy.
I'm unstoppable in that sense.
Somehow there's this voice (the evil side of me) that say 'Go ahead, you'll find time to savour the book. If you don't reward yourself with something you like, when else do you get to enjoy? '

I keep buying so much so that I lost track of the books 
(a) that I want to read but not yet buy (usually due to price)
(b) that I want to read and bought 
(c) that I buy because I think I want to read
(d) that I bought but not yet read

so to avoid buying the same title (same book with different edition / cover), I decided it'll be best to have some indexing of the books I have ... currently I'm using author name for indexing and include details such as 
(a) author name
(b) book title
(c) hard / soft cover
(d) price I paid 
(e) place & year of obtain
(f) status - completed / reading / next in line ...

as for now, I'm determined to stop buying till this year end until I clear a little more from my existing pile. As always, did I mention about exception?? =p 
I really need to go to ONE before the year end ... the one with the WOLF .... lol

巫啟賢 《想著你的感覺》

Growing up listening to his songs .. he is one of the rare talent (for chinese music industry)  in our country last time
Heard this song over the radio and made a search ... then it brings back all those great classic songs by him. 
I missed my childhood days ... 
meanwhile, enjoy =) 

city hunter hunting

Before begin, here wishing all muslim friends Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Lately, instead of sleeping, I've been pinching time off for hunting city hunter.

I think I've got myself hooked. 
and it's really no help that they put both handsome actor & beautiful actress together as the lead.

end of the world

The other night, I had a vivid bad dream.
We were in a classroom ...my boss was there
the blood thick rain pelting hard against the broken window...
rain came in and started hitting us... everyone was running for shelter.
my boss is the most selfish ... running behind all of us.
I ran out of the class ... meeting another malay colleague
I remember asking her is this the sign of hari kiamat
she and another malay girl looked at the sun and said
"matahari jangan padam, kalau padam maksudnya semua akan berakhir di sini"
I saw the sun goes off (just like a light being switched off) ... signalling it's the end now and here
I remember shouting and praying very hard to God...
to allow me enough time to go back to my family..
to allow me to hold my children for one last time ... I want them safe in my arm.
to allow me to love them. protect them and be there for them for one last time.
I started running
It was then I was awaken by my little girl little cry for her nen nen (milk)
When I woke up, I was sweating, trembling and had traces of tears on my face and pillow.

Only god know how relieved I was upon waking up and realising I just had a nightmare.
I carry my little girl up for her feeding... and for that one moment 
I feel blessed having to wake up for her feeding at odd wee hour in the morning .. for if the end is near, when else do I get to spend more time bonding with my children if not NOW.

简单是一种幸福，平凡是一种快乐，随缘是一种自在

简单是一种幸福，平凡是一种快乐，随缘是一种自在

Monday to Sunday (6/8 to 12/8)

The past few days of this week had been eventful.
Somehow it has given me the hope that life is still beautiful.

Monday (6/8/12)
started the week tired due to working previous saturday but was looking forward to submitting the claims. 
The email on Wednesday arrangement flowing in and out has been building momentum to the actual day itself.
Received 3 pairs of flats from MIL - she got them for me at RM15/pair because she saw I was wearing sandals to work. (Actually I was wearing sandals because I can walk faster & easier in them and I have another pair of proper shoes in office)

Tuesday (7/8/12)
Thinking of putting some in when JPY rates dropped a little further than usual and wanted to open silver account but failed due to lunch time constraint.

Wednesday (8/8/12)
Today is the day we have been anticipating! Today is Keef & Elven ROM and for unknown reason I was feeling very happy & excited. Congratulations Keef & Elven ..you both were very sweet. In fact, it was a very sweet & relaxing day for me.. taking pictures, going to Keef house, playing with Zhe Ming, spending time walking and shopping with buddies @ VIVA, having pumpkin porridge based steam boat for dinner. At the end of the day, I didn't want the day to end so soon.

Thursday (9/8/12) 
Back to reality and attended a meeting on standardisation project. 
Was forced to send out email detailing pending items and where we are stuck & who's responsible. It wasn't a nice job but it does get things moving. 
Managed to put some in for JPY and opened silver account.

Friday (10/8/12)
Today's is another buddy (Foong Ling's) birthday. Wishing her healthy & happy always.
Also since friday is a more relaxing day (plus my boss is not around), I took a longer lunch and carry my 3 bags of to be recycle stuff to SOGO. In case you're wondering, we don't have recycle bin in my building. 
I left on time and went over to KL convention centre for IBEX (International Baby Expo) to try to get some trade contacts and survey market. However was a little disappointed as this is merely a fraction of what we had in MVEC 2 weeks ago.

Saturday (11/8/12)
Another happy day for me... got to spend some time with my kiddies. 
My elder one gets the chance to go swimming (thank to MIL) while my younger one gets the chance to have mama's full attention and all the pretty jie jie attention.
Really thankful to my bunch of good old buddies for coming over with buka puasa food and accompanying me for the night. Although tired, it made my days & nights more bearable especially when I have something to look forward to. Thank you very much CY, FL, KF & SY =) 
Thanks to my buddies for the clothes they gave me too...I love them. Thank you very much.

Sunday (12/8/12)
Now it's time for bed ... to have a nice slumber and have another great day tomorrow.

弟子规

Learning &; understanding 弟子规 myself currently.

how can a mama teach her children if she herself doesn't even know?

Although I was not chinese educated but I'm always mesmerized by the wisdom of chinese language.


video : 37.2度杂货店

it has been a long week

Working for full day yesterday (on a Saturday), I felt very tired. 
I'm getting old these days. 
But despite the exhaustion I'm glad I managed to slot in some personal 'achievement'
I managed to tidy up my office space (some 50%) 
I managed to finish up to 50% of the book (My favourite wife) I'm currently reading
I managed to eat something that's heavenly ... Sago with santan & gula melaka


So despite the gruel of working on a Saturday, I managed to turn it into a more pleasant one...
So it's true that they say : Every cloud has a silver lining. 
It's just that sometimes we have to look harder.

pics from google images

one door closed, another door opened

Since last month, I've gradually lost 3 of my breast pumping session companions.

(Yes, in case you're wondering, we do it TOGETHER in a room the size of a toilet cubicle ... i bet it does reflect how close and intimate we are)

1 transferred, 2 resigned 

So here I'm down to 1.

For the 1st few days, I was not used to it. 

I felt something was amiss ... it's like a part of me is missing. 

I'm not used to having the small little space all to myself.

However, I guess it takes time to get used to it.

Recently, I started discovering again 

(1) the wonders & pleasure of reading 

...i hardly have time to read @ home but over the past 2 weeks, i managed to finish a book!

(2) the wonders & pleasure of being alone 

... to wind down especially during stressful times. 

(3) the wonders & pleasure of listening to radio 

... Ai FM (chinese radio station) in particular ... can learn chinese, learn about topic of discussions and get to listen to real nice songs)

(4) the wonders & pleasure of escaping from gossip 

...you know what they say that you can't escape from the grapevine when you put a few 'ah so' together. 

Since I'm the only one left ... I always do get asked

"Now left you 1 only ah? So how?"

"Now left you 1 only ah? so cham?"

so much so that I've just got to smile and say : 

"What to do? 4 people together or me alone .. my baby still need drink milk everyday"

track to track I'm on track ...

Since April this year, I've again started to track my expenses daily.
It's true that they say 'you won't know where your money go until you start tracking them' 
and so I resorted to the conventional way of tracking my expenses in a physical log book (yes, I know I can do more with excel but it just doesn't work for me)
What prompted me to start was the fact that not only my savings is not growing, it is depleting pretty fast.


After the 3 months tracking & to my horror, I've been spending money like drinking water. 
Unconsciously I've been siphoning money out of my account. 
Unconsciously I've been using money to compensate whatever that's missing in my life.
Unconsciously I've been very not careful with my spending.


So I made myself put a brake to my urge to spend.
And today's the 5th day ... so far I'm still ok. 
Hopefully this will last but I'm not too sure about it. I'm bad in this. 

when i got nothing better to do...

when I got nbtd, I enjoy fruit salad made by a colleague while thinking 'when only I rajin enough to prepare such a salad?'

had my parents-in-law what the world am I doing taking picture of the newspaper. This colourful page appear on Earth day with ways we can help to save the earth.

grab a picture of carebears ... i can't resist the colours while forcing my little girl to hug them. Apparently she's not as keen as her mother.

 Couldn't resist grabbing another pic of carebears..

 trying out the baby room for a hospital who is baby friendly after a medical checkup. Yes, at last I got my butt off for that medical checkup and the scary pap smear after my 'tear'

 I feel good when local hospitals start to adopt baby friendly initiatives...i know advocating it is one thing and doing it is another ... but at least, awareness is being created. 

 another 'thumb up'

 when i'm strolling with little one asleep in the stroller...this is what I do... taking pictures of design which can give inspiration for my sewing patchwork.

these designs gave me a 'whale' lots of fun 

 here's another

 and another one of my favourite ... elephant mama & elephant baby (as my little one put in)

 capturing books that I want to read but out of my budget ... taking down the titles graphically to grab at the next book warehouse sales.

 Another local author who makes it big to international scene.. waiting to lay my hands on them only if they have it @ warehouse sales.

 prepping myself up for some storytelling session with my demanding 2. I love the way they love my stories (even if I'm BS'ing)... honestly, I cannot remember any stories from my childhood days except for the stories of bangali / wolf catching small kids who roams outside at night. It was told because I was crying to go back to my babysitter home. 

 when I got nbtd, I waste money applying for membership card and wonder how much points have I wasted prior to owning. 

 when I got nbtd, I survey which milk powder is cheaper, more value for money and which one offer more attractive gifts. That way, my children won't be choosy and consume just any brand of milk powder. btw, this is the latest free gift from Anmum with collaboration with Fisher Price (children toy experts)

 when I got nbtd, I rummage through my craft box and start thinking of stupid things to entertain my children (myself more actually). 

 this is what we get when I chuck everything from above picture into a mineral bottle and fill it with water...voila, a colourful play bottle to keep little ones occupied for a few minutes only(sigh)

 offering to help choose & buy birthday present for a colleague. and realised that I'm not a good candidate for such an assignment. 

when i got nbtd, I scoot around for freebies and shamelessly ask for them. Here, got one of them today from kleenex.com.my share the softness promotion

a nice weekend

it's hard to believe it's monday again when I had a good time over the weekend.
why do happy times always have to end so soon?


(a) submitted my claim on Friday ... just thinking of money being credited later makes me happy.


(b) started sewing toys for friends' baby full moon on Friday night ... thought of it for a week but everything also last minute (just so me). The thought of little babies playing with the toy I made really cheer me up. (that's why I don't mind staying up all night just to complete a small little toy)


(c) have a great day (well, tiring day actually) with the kids, making empty promises like bringing them to the playground later if they sleep now. 


(d) have a great time catching up with a bunch of buddies at a friend's baby full moon party, everyone seem to be doing well and enjoying their life now..


(d) getting excited that school holidays started .. I'm not a student neither a teacher but i like the idea of school holidays..


(e) ah dear was very kind to bring me to book fair (again) despite my home still in a mess. haha..one of the condition is that I clean up my mess at home before bringing back more mess.


(f) I stumbled upon a singapore series 'pillow talk' which i found can give some pointers to us in real life ... it depicts the life of lovers, couples before & after marriage and ups and downs of life at each stages till death do us apart. 


(g) Found a good site for me & the kids to learn chinese here. Having a refresher course on Grimms fairy tales / Anderson fairy tales/ chinese mythology / Geek mythology / Arabian night stories & Aesop fables... they read the story while we see the book..nice.


(h) Glad that I had underwent full medical checkup last week after having 'thought' about it for a few months.. it's good to know I'm treating myself well. (saying this because I think I have a tendency of not treating myself good enough...hehe)

亲爱的妈妈

Mother's Day never failed to bring me a bag full of mixed feelings.
it also never failed to bring me a bag full of memories with my mother (for that's all I have /left now).
I heard & found a song which can quite sum up what I want to say to you, mummy. 
I wonder whether you receive it..


Happy mother's day to all mothers! =) 




ps. till next post, see how the interviewers hinted me that i may have it all messed up, led me to believe so and had me asking my little kiddies whether what I'm doing is right or wrong?...

my latest 'bible'

on why i couldn't resist grocery shopping

 

 so colourful, so many varieties, so 'never a dull moment',
so many packaging design, so competitive ... that in the end we found there's a hole in our pocket ^^!

radio radio

I remember during my schooling years, I came up with all kind of 'can-thin-of-excuses' for my parents to get me a radio / cassette player. Among the reason I gave is listening to music will help to improve memory & performance. Still I ended up having to save my own money to get my own radio.


and so I got my radio, my parents brought me to the electrical shop and I selected the one that was within my budget. 


However, once the radio is on my study desk, i started listening more intently to the radio instead of studying.
I started picking up latest chinese songs, got very updated with the chinese music industry gossip, can memorise all the radio station frequencies, knew almost any DJ that was on night shift, can even memorise and recite the radio program at night from monday to sunday upside down.


the best part, I even started buying blank empty cassettes ever ready to record compilations of my favourite songs. 


thinking back, I really missed those times when I can sit down in the middle of the night...listening to the radio while the night goes by (although i'm supposed to be studying).


I'm thankful to that loyal little radio of mine. My sister is still using it.
One thing I didn't regret doing was listening to the radio every night without fail ... for that was i think how I got to pick up my native language.


so once again, radio radio kam xia lu!

P & G for London 2012 Olympic Games

Video description : 

This Procter & Gamble commercial honors everything that all moms do to help their children succeed by showcasing the amazing moms behind Olympic athletes at the London 2012 Olympic Games. The hardest job in the world is truly the best job in the world.
Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. But it's also the best.

吃错药

吃错药
today,in a few hours time, a(nother) major project is starting ...
I'm not that ready and yet I'm not worry.
Given the previous me (that took the correct medication) =p 
I would have been panicking.


Yesterday, while in the pre-project meeting, 
I looked around at the people around me in the meeting room 
- there were about 30+ individuals from various divisions,
I see a reflection of myself, people were totally exhausted from work.
At that spur moment, I just had the urge to get out and leave just like that ...
Well, I did leave the meeting room to take a breather at the ladies, 
Too sad, I still have to go back inside.


吃错药
These days, I tend to not feel guilty over anything that was not done. 
The 错药 is good. 
It gives me the liberty. the freedom. the release from
what I think I should have done
what other think I should have done
there is only so much that can be done (by me). 
I'm no superwoman ..  

Now, I wonder they have any 错药 to bring out the rebellious me. 
I'm in dire need of those.

was I afraid?

For some of you close to me, you might remember that once upon a time I used to be crazy for money that I can spend all my waking hours trying to find ways to earn extra. 
at some point of time in my mid twenties, I had started a business of nutrition breakfast with some partners. 
Not known to anyone except the person I'm living with now (apart from my previous business partners), is that from that business, apart from the experience gained doing business, I had another experience which I had chosen not to remember but couldn't get it deleted from my 'recycle bin'.


Our breakfast shop last time used to be the half front part of a comic shop. Meaning we rent only a quarter of the shop space and we share the toilet which is way at the back of the comic shop.
Those days, I used to leave home around 5.30am - 6.00am and reach the shop before 6.30am. Our operating hour start 6.30am. We need to be there early to do setup. Since I am working full time on weekdays, I'm in charge of the breakfast shop for weekend.


I couldn't remember clearly already whether it was a saturday or sunday.
The day was already bright but I couldn't remember what time. The comic shop was not opened yet. They open at 10am daily.
There were a few customers and we were busy. 
An Indian uncle customer came to ask me where the toilet is. 
I led him to the door that connect to the comic shop and told him to walk straight and the toilet is at the end. He said he cannot see, very dark.
It was indeed dark at the comic shop so I had no choice but to go switch on the light. Unfortunately the light switch is not at where I'm standing. (Remember, our shop is just a made up of a partition of a quarter of the comic shop).


That's when the horror began, after I switched on 1 row of lights, this (later-i-found-out-drunk) uncle grabbed hold of me, attempted to hug and kiss. I remembered pushing him away only to be pulled harder. I know I should have shouted for help as loud as I could but somehow i don't remember being able to shout. I just remembered pushing him away with all my might, bend down and dash to the connecting door as fast as I could. 


I was shaking but relieved when I saw the crowd. At least I know here I'll be safe. 
My legs went jelly, I felt as thought all my energy has been drained from my body and I had difficulty breathing. I squatted down behind the counter. Seeing things are not right, Wai Peng came over. All I managed was just to grab her hand, hold it tight and told her that there's a crazy fella inside.  


I think a few minutes passed, we heard the connecting door opened. I dare not even look and hid behind the counter. The crazy fella just walked off. 
After calm down, I told Wai Peng & Joyce what happened and for our safety, we told our left right shop owners to help keep an eye for us. When the comic shop owner came, we told him and asked for one row of lights to be kept on instead of us having to go and switch it on.


When I think back, even if I shouted, people outside may not even hear with the radio playing, the blender blending and customer chit chatting.


I didn't know at that point of time, what can be done? other than preventing things from happening again to anyone. I didn't know whether we can report or who to report to? Heck, I couldn't even remember that bas**** face.
But one thing for sure ... after that incident, each time I go to the shop, I don't feel comfortable. It just doesn't feel right and I'm scared.


To cut a long story short, 
I'm not sure ... it's strange that at that point of time, I can get so shaken & scared and yet I didn't dare to tell anyone (except wai peng & joyce - my biz partners). Not even my sisters / parents (well, I didn't want them to worry). I only told my other half so so so much later.
Now, it doesn't affect me at all already. It is part of my life experience. Something that has make me braver today (i hope). something i can close / put an end to. something that we can learn ... to prevent women from sexual harassment. 

Apr 2012

from last month list, I only managed to achieve : 

(a) save RM50 for sewing machine

(b) update resume & start looking

(c) kid vaccination

(d) soft biz launch - started acquisition & selling

(e) another mini pillow (completed just yesterday & ah bi is sleeping hugging it now)

the rest I can say 'sudah masuk longkang'

For April,

1. vaccination & checkup

2. do income tax

3. submit claim

4. (at least) 1 book 1 month 

5. 30 chinese words/phrases

6. continue rm50 saving for sewing machine

7. sleep more, rest more, exercise more

8. arrange for free medical check up

9. housework - reduce backlog to less than 1 week.

10. review portfolio & re-strategize.

11. revive cooking kiddie meals.