" Do it so that I'll never regret "

Last Friday while having lunch .... I've this feeling of
"Do it so that I'll never regret"

Just two trivial matter yet if I never did, I may need never got to do it again or may have to wait for another year.
Life sometimes is about making choices.

As I was asking for a plate of rice from the malay economy rice stall which I frequent always, the pakcik told me he's going for sembahyang. After the makcik gave me the rice, she continue eating.

Me : Makan ye kak, lambat makan?
Kak : Tadi sibuk masak, sekarang pakcik gi sembahyang, jadi kena sambil makan sambil jaga gerai lah.
Me : oh...
Kak : Ni hari last, lepas tu kita tutup hingga lepas raya. Bulan puasa kan, kita cuti lah.
Me : wah, panjang cuti. Tak dapat lah saya rasa masakan makcik ni
Kak : Balik raya kang, boleh lah..

It didn't cross my mind to wish her a simple 'Selamat Hari Raya'. The thought only came to mind when I sat down on the eating table with my plate of rice.

I was actually contemplating whether should I make the move to go back to the stall to wish makcik ... will it be akward? will everyone and makcik think that I do so because I wanted more discount??

All these while, here's where I have lunch on most days. Pakcik & makcik has been kind enough to still maintain their price low and even allow me eat for free 1st once when I forgot to bring my wallet. When I say low, it's really low as in RM1.50 - 2.50 for a plate of rice with 3 dishes selection like veggies, egg and others like tauhu / bekedil. If I were to take a piece of fried chicken/ a chunk of ikan pari with 2 other dishes, it will be max RM3.50.
Knowing me, the portion is actually quite big =p

As I was thinking, an Indian lady in her 50s wearing a old yellow sari approached me and asked in a very timid voice (almost inaudible) "Minta cik tolong derma".
My reflex reaction was shaking my head even before I had register what was it all about as I was thinking about the earlier thing.
However, when I come back to my senses, the lady has left my table. I was searching for her when I saw her leaving the food court with her head down. On her way out, her body language showed she wanted to ask but she seemed to be afraid of being rejected. (Don't ask me how I know how she felt because I think I just knew ... I've done that and been through that before...too many at times)

I observed her for a moment and something about this old lady touches the base of my heart.
She walks in a slow manner and I don't think she's working for some kind of scam.
When she almost reaches the exit, I saw her turning back, grasping those photos (which I caught a glimpse earlier) because she saw a group of middle age white collar worker entering the food court.

I took a moment more to finish my food. In my heart, all I told myself was " Do it so that I'll never regret ". Never before have I feel the urge this strong.
I just basically stood up, walked back to the makcik's gerai and waited a while in queue (while makcik was serving others). Makcik was very suprised to see me again.
When I told her "Makcik, selamat hari raya. Maaf zahir & batin ye makcik" I could see the gleam in her face and her smile was the most dazzling one. Even her helper who was helping her at the stall was gleaming with joy.
"Sama sama nak, terima kasih nak. Inilah yang makcik gembira sagat dengar nak"

I'm thankful that I make another person's day =) just right before bulan puasa and Hari Raya.
I didn't know just a simple gesture like this could brighten our day both for makcik, the helper and myself. I'm glad I did it regardless of those lingering thoughts I've earlier. Never mind the crowd at the stall whom may think I'm trying to 'kam-ching' with makcik to get more discount.
I didn't know whether I ate the wrong medicine because right after that, I went searching for the indian lady in yellow sari. I spotted her alone at some corner of the food court. I tapped her upper arm and looked at her eyes when she turned back. I asked her where's she from, she says she's from rumah sejahtera (in malay).
'Saya sihat lagi, mau tolong kawan kawan lain yang perlu. Cik tolong lah"
I have soft spot for all these ... I do not know ever since when...
it wasn't a big amount but at least I hope these little helps.

I still have the receipt, I vowed to visit rumah sejahtera some day...

Sometimes there are some things, some actions which I couldn't explain later. But it make me feel that there's hope and there's choices everyday in our lives. Some things, once foregone may never come back. Sometimes if we are lucky, we may be able to make things right again.

Sometimes, when in doubt, just follow our heart....

"Do it so that we'll never regret".

I've missed many things in life ... even utmost important ones like my mum. I'm afraid of losing anyone and anything again. I'll never let anyone slip off my hands again.