baby cube toy : attempt 3

This round added some ribbon for 
1. baby touch sensory
2. for easy to hang on stroller / cot / play pen
3. next time add little bell inside - include hearing sensory as well

SARA sara u...bagus?

Skim Amanah Rakyat (SARA) 1Malaysia (which offer 32.16% return p.a.) is being opened to public today 30/1/12. The subscription will extend for a year or upon full subscription (most likely finish within hours)

32.16% p.a. mind you! and so far I can't seem to see any catch!

According to the PNB president & group CE

• Investment limited to RM5000 / household
• Investor will receive RM134 dividend every month for 5 years

Here's how you can participate

• Invest with own money
• Invest with bank's money/loan (this is the interesting part) : dividend received RM134 - monthly repayment to bank RM84 = profit RM50 per month. But the beauty is, remember you didn't fork out a single cent and you didn't had any opportunity cost of putting your own RM5k inside.    So, we get RM50 per month out of nothing?

Perhaps these are the catches (the eligibility) :

1.	Malaysians aged between 18 and 58 years;
2.	Applicants must have a combined gross household monthly income of between RM500 – RM3,000;
3.	Applicants must not be declared bankrupt throughout the loan funding period;
4.	Applicants and / or spouse(s) must not be a beneficiary of other Government special schemes managed by Amanah Saham Nasional Berhad (ASNB) i.e."Program Pembangunan Rakyat Termiskin (PPRT)", "ASB Sejahtera" and "ASW2020-Bandar";
5.	Applicants and / or spouse (s) do not have any investments in ASNB unit trusts, OR, if there is, applicants and /or spouse(s) (household) have a combined aggregate investment totaling RM10,000 or less in all ASNB products;
6.	Only one household is eligible to obtain the loan funding; and
7.	Approval on applications is also subject to other terms set by the financial institutions. **** DEFINITION OF HOUSEHOLD****Eligible household refers to individuals with gross household monthly income of between RM500 and RM3,000 including the following categories: Married - a combination of gross income of the husband and wife; and Single mothers or fathers - individual gross income. Taken from SARA 1Malaysia official website How to start? Prepare main & supporting documents required These 4 banks offer loan  Maybank, CIMB, RHB and Bank Simpanan Nasional Something you may want to know though The distribution of funds is opened to all Malaysians based on the allocation of Amanah Saham 1Malaysia (AS 1Malaysia)I, i.e. Bumiputera – 50%; Chinese – 30%; Indian – 15%; Others – 5%. Personally I think if we are eligible, why not invest?  The stake at risk is RM5k and it's not even our own money (if taking loan). Come to think of it, nothing to lose except maybe a little time, effort and minimal cost. ** ps. btw, we know of the 'OBVIOUS' but I'm just sharing from purely point of financial view. I don't care about the motives/the games/whatever

其实你不懂我的心

其实你不懂我的心 ... favourite song from childhood. 
I always listen to it to fall asleep during afternoon nap @ babysitter home. 
Last time, to put me to sleep, all my babysitter had to do is just to play some songs and I'll automatically pull & unroll the tilam & doze off... =D


This is another version by a vision impaired contestant in one's of singapore talent show.
The original singer is 童安格

new year new ant-venture

Even the tiny weeny ant decided to bully me now =p

Past midnight, as I was putting milk into the freezer, 

I suddenly felt something invaded my ear.

It felt itchy at first, I couldn't be bother thinking it's ear wax (hoho... cause few days didn't gorek telinga ma)

Then I started to hear noises, feel very uncomfortable as though a butterfly / bug is fluttering its wings and circling in my ear.

I shouted for help .. haha, yes I panic easily. 

Of course, the only available immediate help was ah dear lo.

I told him I think got insects go inside my ear ah (jumping around and pointing to my left ear)

He laughed ... can you believe it? (and he even choose the most canggih flashlight ^^!)

He shone inside my ear and said 'No ah, nothing inside also'

I said 'Got la, doing gymnastic inside'

He shone again and said 'Nothing wo. Itchy because of ear-shit is it?'

Then I feel pain inside my ear ... as thought being bitten...then nothing

I thought since dear cannot see anything, it could be just my ear-shit.

When I walked to the sofa to sit down, 

I feel something seem to be lost inside my ear tunnel, got panic and couldn't find way out. Then it became frustrated with the long grass(hair) and bumpy road (ear-shit) that it started to bite.

I rushed toward my sometimes 'knight in shining armour' and grab his hand.

"Really got la, some more know how to bite one, faster see again" I demanded.

'DON'T HAVE. NOTHING' ... he then got the ear-digger.

I insisted there's something inside and I'm feeling very uncomfortable.

He wanted to dig my ear but I was afraid that this might push the insect further in.

He suggested I put water into my ear to force that fella out. I also scare. Scare that fella tenggelam and cause infection.


******* DO YOU KNOW HOW TO REMOVE INSECT FROM OUR EAR? *******

Suddenly I remembered last time, in primary school, they got teach to shine light into the ear because insects will move towards light.

I ask dear to search internet how to remove insect from ear ... suprisingly we still have time  to google =p

I felt something crawling out slowly and asked dear to see ...

It was dear 'ANT' ... no wonder ah dear cannot see anything la.

haha...now I understand why they say even elephant also scare of rat.

REMINDER TO MYSELF : 

It's time for me to learn & brush up on first aid. 

But first of all, I think I really need to learn to be CALM.

a cny reunion?

Very early this morning, I had a dream. 
Both my parents (father & mother) were walking towards the lift lobby.
I was following them.
My mother was swirling and hymming happily while walking towards the lift lobby.
I was observing my mother from behind her.
She was wearing a matching pastel flowery blouse and knee length skirt. She was wearing a pair of 2 shades of grey flats. 
I remember seeing her legs as she swirl and swirl.
I remember hearing her voice as she hymm and hymm.


I called her (Mi), she turned back and smiled at me. 
It was one of her happiest smile. I could see her eyes smiling too.
I walked towards her and hugged her tightly.
I told her 只要你开心, 我看到就会很开心.
She whisper to me 你是不是有事想要告诉我?
I shoke my head and smile back at her.
But tears swelling in my eyes. 
My mother look into my eyes one more time before turning around towards the lift lobby.
I was left there alone.
I felt a certain kind of sadness which I cannot explain.
It's the kind of feeling when you are sad and tired and wish there's someone who can share your pain but you rather keep everything to yourself 
because you want the other person to be happy
because you didn't want the other person to worry about you.


I woke up crying, my pillow wet.
My little one let out a wail. 
I picked her up thinking she wanted milk but she didn't and fall back asleep.
After putting her down the cot, I went back to bed.
I took my phone and started jotting down this dream.
I remembered saving it but strangely I couldn't find the particular entry. 
It just vanished just like my dream.
I couldn't sleep anymore after that.
All I could remember was I cried and cried silently in the stillness of the dawn until my eyes were blur and swollen.


I wonder whether can I consider this a reunion since I get to meet my mother as well during this cny.
I wonder whether my daughter saw her grandma when she let out a wail but fall back asleep shortly.
I wonder what's this dream trying to tell me. 
I wonder whether my mother is happy now (as happy as she seem in my dream).
I wonder whether she knows how much I miss her.


but I'm truly thankful that I got to see her and hug her even if it's only in my dream.

龙年快乐

Wishing you all & family a happy, healthy & prosperous dragon year =) 




** Do not proceed if you do not want your CNY mood dampen **
This new year I found myself a little lacking ...
house still halfway cleaned
my CNY itineries still revolve around nursing
CNY preparation is almost nil ..except for some mandatory practices
feel like many things still unresolved
overall, I'm feeling as though I'm still in rabbit year

new toys

It's good that I find time to spring clean ... cause I found alot of 'archived' treasures from my girly days. 
Found a few rows of ribbons, clean them up and create this with an old wooden hanger. The ribbons' colours are a little faded though and mostly pastel. It will be more vibrant should I have more bold colours (which attracts baby better). 

Remember this gulung gulung thing which was once popular. I found it and couldn't resist something as colourful. Showed a few trick to the little ones but it wasn't enough. Ended up thought of a way to let her 'feel' the colours. 


Judging from her reaction, I think my little one loves them. She grabbed, she pulled and she squealed =D while showing her teethless gum =D

红 packet

I used to be at the other end of the bargain ... 28 years to be exact ^^!
Now that I've assumed new role 3 years back, comes with it are some great perks =p 
One that really worth mentioning is
the chance to 包红包 
Not that I've not 包 before in the 28 years. I've done it for many many times.
But to 包红包 (with own money that is) a totally different ball game.


Just like 孙子 Art of War 战争兵法, 
We also have Art of 包(红包)法
After 3 years of trying very hard to master, (yes, I do understand I still have a long way to go)
these are my major & not so major findings : 


(a) budgeting
Yes, the word budget is overrated. Even going from one end of the bargain to another end of the bargain requires a big budget..but let's leave that topic for another day.
Yes, although 红包 is the focus, we all know what is the actual 'focus of the focus'. I call it 重点的重点. The timing is also crucial for consideration. If you are like half of the working population who receive bonus year end, it may help to lighten your burden as chinese new spring celebration usually falls on Jan/Feb - just nice after year end bonus. However, if you are not in that group, you'll need to foresee this inevitable expenses and start preparing for it. 
If in any case you wish to escape by travelling away during this celebration duration, you'll also need to 'budget' in your travel expenses.
And also, budgeting involves you deciding your allocations - in order words, how much to give who. You may need to balance & rebalance and have backup emergency plans. 
Banks are not open for you during CNY and ATM machines are usually out of money especially over long weekends / holidays. Moreover ATM machines doesn't spit small notes.


(b) sourcing 
This stage to many people may seem 'remeh temeh' but I choose not to underestimate the power of sourcing (for your resources). The resources here refer but not limited to
1. money (the total amount) - covered in chapter (a) budgeting
2. money (the amount in different denomination a.k.a change to RM1/5/10/50/100 notes) - this may requires you tapping into your intersocial skills. It will be best if you know someone who can help you to change or join into groups (tumpang). There are things you may need to consider if you decide to do it lone rangerly such as logistic and safety besides time & effort.
3. ang pow packets - yes, you can buy but why buy when everyone else is getting it free? This requires some intersocial, communication, thick-skinned skills. I'm not sure about others but I realised I have a need for not only 1 design angpow, I need a few designs at least and in sufficient quantity. This I'll elaborate further in chapter (d) 包'ing
4. sourcing for the sources - need I explain further? 


(c) getting 
After you've sourced for whatever that you require, automatically the next stage will be 'getting' or 'receiving' what were sourced. Let's take for example, if you've changed money, you need to think of ways getting those money safely home. Same goes for angpow. You may need to consider whether is there any need for additional resources. If yes, this is the time to gather sufficiently.


(d) 包'ing
Now I'm at this stage as I'm writing this. 
This stage consist of repetitive work that requires full attention. Need to ensure exact piece(s) of note(s) inserted correctly before sealing. 
Here comes the trick, usually I'll need to have at least 4-8 different designs angpow and in sufficient quantity. This is due to the fact that when all the angpow are sealed, I determine the amount of money inside by looking at the design. Also, the different design is to differentiate different categories of recipients ie.parents/siblings/close relatives/friends/colleagues/someone's friends/someone's relatives and even stranger like those very hardworking alam flora sanitor.
Sometimes I find it hard to remember which design is for which and ended up had to open the angpow to check the content, which isn't something nice to do eh...
Among other challenges here is to ensure angpows are sealed properly to contain the money...else paiseh people receive empty angpow.
We also have to ensure the total no. of angpow tally with no, of pieces of notes for that denomination


(e) logistic'ing 
Again this is another often overlooked concern. It's not so bad when you're at home, you know where you put which design angpow. The challenges for me comes when we go visiting many places at one go. Either we need to prepare different bags for different types, all put all into 1 bag but with rubberband segregation, or bring bags with different compartments. Again, if you're with young children like me, please do take into consideration that all your kids angpow will eventually end up with you...so be prepared and ensure no mixup. 
Another pointer to think of, if like me not going back to my parents' hometown, we need to pre-arrange and coordinate to tumpang relatives to bring balik kampung. Plus, you need to give clear indication on how to distribute the angpows to avoid confusion / embarassment such as not enough...moreover so when you have different allocations like bigger angpow for grandparents, standard angpow for kiddies, another set angpow  for pai nian.
So I hope you see that logistic is just not as simple as transporting the angpow from A to B.


(f) giving
This is the fun part but also the confusing part (for me). Maybe it has got to do with my ever deteriorating memory. I have no problem with giving but when there are so many kids and teenagers (and sometimes adults with children who didn't come), I have a very BIG problem. I CANNOT remember who I gave or had not ^^! Mind you, kids nowadays doesn't remind you that you've given them earlier. To them, the more the better so they won't mind you giving them bonus. 
Oh...and sometimes when someone with children but children not with them and they give your children angpow, I really have a hard time remembering how many children that person has. I can ask but sometimes it's not that nice ... people will think I know how many children you have and how come you not know mine?
What more when these people and families come & go at different intervals. Some families comes separately ie. parents comes 1st, kids come later, you gave the parents and kids give you 'give me angpow' look and you're downright confused.
Sometimes you do get some special guest, by special I mean, they are not really budgeted for. It's ok if you have a few which your backup stash can last, but if there are aplenty, you'll need to 'borrow flower offer buddha'. I admit, I recycle money ...haha..


(g) receiving
Yes, this is affecting me (indirectly though, or maybe directly). As mentioned earlier, if got young children, all their angpows will eventually end up with parents. 
The thing is when these angpows reaches me, I don't know where they come from (unless some people write giver name on angpow, they seriously do). 
This will have a cause and effect ... in term of 有来有去 (a very dominant chinese tradition which I call mild kiasu'nism)
At times, when small children play together, they may tend to leave angpow laying around and some smarter ones will tend to end up with more angpows... hehez.
Again, this also influence the choice of angpow designs (point (d) ... usually people will choose angpow design that can be closely associated with them or special limited edition to differentiate angpow from them (in other words, outclass the rest!)


(h) profit & lose'ing
After the whole 15 days, it's time to do some profit & lose'ing. I'm not sure whether others do but realistically & materialistically, I do. I need to know where we stand. 
I need to do financial decision for my children ... either to have their money stash in their kiddies account or to have their parents loan their money for cashflow while recovering from festive bankruptcy...lol, bad mother am i not? 
Of course, remember I did some money recycling? We need to take that into consideration as well. 
As our children grow, this process does serve another purpose..a more noble one..haha.
Educating the young ones the importance of 'delayed gratification' and the 'wonder of compounding interest'. 
Well, till then I will still call this process profit & lose'ing. 
When time comes, this process will be addressed as financial planning.


(i) guarding
This I must say is an ongoing crucial process that needs to be applied throughout (a) to (h).
As the chinese spring comes every year, we have to be prepared for the next cycle and the cycles thereafter.
Worth mentioning are events within your circles such as yearly reduction (people getting married) and addition (new family members)
Last but not least, anything that i forgot to cover on 'Art of 包' in the previous paragraphs should be considered here.


It's true that when they say 'Chinese people are sophisticated people'.


I wonder whether there'll be e-angpow in near future? 
Cause I'll very much need it. It will help me in managing my activity (a) to (i) 
and it'll do the environment some good deeds (the packets, the plastics, the CO2 released in the entire process production & logistic, the waste created, etc...)

mobile for baby

Pic from : http://sewshesews.wordpress.com

My upcoming project =D
Brilliant idea from http://sewshesews.wordpress.com
Thank you for sharing

our efforts count

Our individual efforts to protect mother nature, protect the earth are important.

We will realise that just by making a little changes in our everyday lives, we can make a difference.

Throughout this 'stay at home' duration, I've become greener (no, not in term of jealousy =p)

Conscious effort were made :

I keep take bath water to flush toilet. It's good for watering plants too.

Only wash clothes when washing machine full load.

practice 3R : Reduce, Reuse, Recycle 

I've tried to reduce garbage by using cloth diaper during day time. 

I've reuse & recycle children, adult & maternity clothes. 

I've pack my over-the-years collection of magazines ready to be donated / given away. 

(If you know of any clinics / maternity care centre / anyone which my (womens' and parenting) magazines could be useful, please let me know. I guess it's more environmentally efficient to share the info in the magazine rather than recycling the paper) 

I've started segregating my rubbish - recyclable & non-recyclable. There's this one old lady at my area that collects recyclable..hope this can benefit her, then she don't have to search for recyclable items among the thrash.

Later, when I regain a little more freedom, I would like to take part in eco-friendly activities ... like throwing mud balls to clean up sea / river / lake, plant trees effort / recycling activities etc...So if you come across any..please do share with me ya =D

courage to dream - lost not found

Last time, I used to have dreams which I thought were realistic.
However as my each birthday come & go ... I grew bigger, my dreams grew smaller.
Now these dreams are so small that I didn't even find it meaningful. 
My dreams which I once hold on so preciously have been shattered if not shrunken.
Perhaps someday, someday I hope I find back the 'fire' in me to pursue. 


Last time, I didn't mind taking on extra work outside work, I didn't mind toiling hard, I grabbed hard on every opportunity that allow me to catch a glimpse of my dreams. 
But my those dreams had died. 
And gone with them are 'my courage to dream' ... pathetic isn't it? 
Instead of having dreams & pursuing them, I shrunk my dreams to cheat myself. 
I hate myself.


Last time I've always wanted to bring my parents for holidays ... I didn't managed to (not even now) 
Last time I make myself promise I'll let my parents have a good life when they get old ... I didn't managed to (not even now)
Last time I've always wanted to give both my family and my future family a good life ... I'm honestly still STRUGGLING and the I still couldn't even see a speck of light at the end of the tunnel.


Now as I try to dream, try to find back my courage to dream, the only dream that comes to me is only those nightmare I've while asleep. 
Where do I find 'courage'? 
Where can I find 'courage'?
Where are you 'courage'? 
I NEED YOU TO COME BACK!

Jan 2012 reso

Inspired by CY's reso, I feel I owe myself 'something' ... 
Since I have trouble adhering or getting close to my previous years' reso, 
I ended up needing to do this :
making more achievable goals 


So to start of with Jan's 
1. Gather up enough money to repay debt + prepare angpows + buy CNY gifts for close relatives.  (死都要死出来啊!  没办法!)
2. Meet up with family & friends ... re-establish my social life after so many days within 4 walls.
3. Eat good & healthy food to meet to ensure pass QC for 'susu cap ibu'.
4. Spring clean for CNY & reorganise wardrobe for whole family.
5. Finish clearing my over-the-years magazine piles
6. Bring kid for vaccination & monthly check as scheduled.
7. Start kid on cloth diaper for day time.
8. Sleep like a normal person do (err...I mean the hours)
9. Curb my addiction for online shopping/shopping with the excuse of CNY.
10. Exercise .. really exercise. No, housework and chasing kids around not considered.
11. Get ready & pack all the stuffs which I want to donate to the charity lorry before they come. 

whole body bone pain

since yesterday, I don't know what happened.
I started feeling cold, feverish and whole body ache + bone pain.
Not sure whether it's impending cold / flu or calcium from my bones slowly leeching out.
Want to eat panadol also dare not. 
Just forced myself gulp down alot of water and takes vitamin C & calcium.
please go away...I got no time to fall sick now.

XINRAN : Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother

This book - highly recommended.
Like being mentioned in the following review
"One would have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by them."

The theme around this book
" Most of Xinran’s mothers submit stoically to the cruelties of “son preference” and the one-child policy. But a few go to extraordinary lengths to have more than one child"


Got a copy of this book from previous BBWS. 
It was indeed a gem. 
Another review for sharing. 
(Sorry, was a little lazy to write my own review plus there are plenty of superb reviews online)

bodycare supplies

If I say ...
I've never bought any kid bodycare supplies for the past 2 years ...
will you believe me? 




I (or rather my kid) have been surviving on these (look around)...
Yes, free samples and free gift hampers.
Plus, for kids, they don't really need alot of soap per wash/apply. It's good for them to go au naturel.                                       Just tiny weeny bit each time will do as too much of soap will stripe of their natural moisture & dry their skin.

These supplies doesn't come without cost ...
being thick-skinned & kiasu
being busy body
taking part in survey/contest
divulging personal information
being up todate on expo / exhibition
attending talks -- goodies bag

This one special abit =) if you remember my post from 1 year ago,
this is contribution from CY =) 
* remind me to teach them say 'thank you jie jie' next time they see you ok =D*


Let's hope I can continue ensuring their bodycare supplies prevail =p 
ps. just hope next time when my kids grow up and found out about this, they wouldn't blame their mother for being frugal cheap-skate. 
After all, they grew up with these. It's a fact (that I'm a little proud of...lol)

pre-love I-love

Clothes I receive from ah dear's relatives. I'm so very much in love with these clothes. 
(Pardon the pictures taken behind the toilet door..hehe)
Sometimes I think I'm very lucky =) 
I have hardships in my life but I also receive alot more blessings =)

Come to think of it, if people ask me what's my fashion style ...
I would say a healthy mix, not genuinely my style but is mixingly my style ... 


cause as teenagers, my sister got friends who changed their wardrobe as frequent as taking baths..no joke. So we graciously (and greedily) accepted..hehe. For us, 1 baju 3 orang pakai ... sure no waste.


then as I grow up & start dating, my then boyfriend's mother likes buying clothes for me. So I'm never lack of clothes.
Haha..I guess it has got to do with my old fashioned & 保守 clothes.


Then later I got married, my boyfriend's mother who become my mother in law continue buying clothes for me (eventhough I told her no need to cause I got lot of clothes already). 
Now as my family extended including dear's relatives, I receive many pre-loved clothes from them ranging from normal casual wear - work clothes - dinner dress - maternity wear. I think enough to cover 4 seasons if Malaysia got.


Now in the cupboard (after winter cleaning the other day) 
1/4 is occupied by ah dear's clothes
3/4 is occupied by mine ...lol (don't ask me why I take more place than I should...it's the demand & supply theory and this seem to be the equilibrium...lol) 
Out of this 3/4, 3/4 is pre-loved/given by people.
Effectively, I only bought 1/4 of my wardrobe contents.
Out of the 3/4, I've managed to clear 1/4 from wardrobe ... given to the massage aunty daughters. 
And these clothes I just received on Sunday is just nice to take the place of the 1/4.
See, how our lives work is really miracle. 

Precious : GDM

It was around the 28th week into pregnancy. 
I was just there for normal checkup and they ask me to go for a MGTT.
(MGTT stands for Modified Glucose Tolerance Test)
MGTT is usually offered to pregnant women with previous history / family history / obese / high risk factor of diabetes.
They told me currently I'm not in the above group but their reason for giving me this test was
I had previously a big baby @ 3.85kg (they say for my size, it's consider big)
I even offered them explanation : could it be because baby's father is big too? 
I tell them so because I was there for checkup myself so they have not seen the baby's father. 
They say still I have to go for the test, regardless ... it's better to be on the safe side.
They gave me the instruction to fast and the date to come again.
So, home I went & started with my research.
Honestly, I loathe (if not hate) all kind of unnecessary tests / intervention because I feel they create unnecessary stress / tension to an otherwise healthy pregnancy.


On the day, as instructed, I started fasting the night before and were feeling my stomach empty. 
1st tube of blood taken and we were literally 'forced' to drink a 'too sweet and vomit inducing solution'. We were to continue to fast until the 2nd tube of blood taken after 2 hours. 
Result will be out later. Waiting is definately not fun. 
I was careless though. I still eat as usual without taking into consideration that I may possibility of having GDM (gestinational diabetes melitus). 
I've taken myself for granted and may have risk my baby. This I really feel very guilty. 


Result is out and I'm not ok. 
So doctor asked me to admit & do BSP ( Blood Sugar Profiling) immediately which again I hesitated. I even negotiate to come in and do the test at different interval instead of admission but the doctor wanted an immediate admission. 
At last, I managed to convince the doctor that I'll admit tomorrow.
The doctor say, if situation warrant, I'll need to learn to inject insulin beside diet control.
I guess I was in denial and just couldn't accept that I'm in the 5%-7% that get GDM during pregnancy.
The doctor reprimanded me saying I shouldn't 'main main' (translated play play) and told me the consequences. 
All of sudden, the seriousness of the situation to baby & me struck me like lightning.
I loss myself for a while. 


I didn't know how to break the news. I felt so bad. I felt I've not done what a mother should to protect the baby in her womb. 
As I've to be admitted to hospital, I've got no choice but to 'share the burden' with ah dear. I think he has the right to know despite me not wanting anyone to know.
I even asked him to lie on my behalf. I thought everything can be resolved unknowingly but that is not true. Paper cannot wrap fire ah...like they chinese put it.


So there I'm early morning ... ah dear bring me to admit myself to the hospital. This is the 2nd time I admit hospital. The 1st time was when deliver 1st child. 
At the maternity ward, I feel a little out of place. Some thought I'm waiting to be induced. Some thought I'm waiting for labour. All except that I came in just for BSP. 
Throughout the morning, there about 12 students in different groups asking me the same questions and I actually answered them diligently.. haha, talking about NBTD (Nothing better to do). I was visited by a few doctors from different fields (which I can't remember clearly now except for the dietitian)


At times, even I myself can be frightened by my own action and boldness. 
I told the doctor I need to go home and come back tomorrow morning. I say I need to go fetch my kid, my kid need me to fall asleep la ... all sort of nonsense I can think of...
I even promised to be back at the hospital @ 6am. 
The doctor on duty told me she has to refer to the registrar. Nevertheless, the outcome was that admitted patient is not allowed to leave hospital unless discharged.


To tell the truth, I actually eat just minimal because I was stupid enough to sort of 'cap my blood sugar level' so that it will not go so high until I need insulin injection. I'm very very scared of this. I was hungry and fighting the urge to eat more. 


Since I'm there, my as well make good use of it. I managed to complete some outstanding reading. But the best of all, I managed to talk to more than a dozen of mothers there, say angugu to all their babies ...gaining from their stories, their background, their experience and even some age old traditions or practice of different ethnics. My biggest gain was that at last I roughly can imagine what to expect giving birth there.


To cut long story short, I couldn't sleep well at night at the ward. Without my pillow, my bolster (main support for big tummy during pregnancy), it's hard to fall asleep. One baby was crying almost every hour...I found out the next morning that the chinese mom didn't have (enough) breastmilk so her baby was hungry till the nurse offered formula milk. 
This chinese mother turn out to be a very nice lady. She's smaller in size than me and she shares with me her birthing experience. She's someone down to earth and very comfortable to talk to. 
In fact, I actually feel sad leaving her (for someone whom I had know a few hour). She had to stay one more day because her baby need to be monitored.


Going back from hospital is not the end of the GDM ordeal... in fact it's only the beginning.


Looking back at the whole episode thereafter, I feel relieved now that it was only GDM (only during pregnancy due to hormonal change).
Not only that, my biggest finding about myself...sometimes those things I do can be really STUPID but if everything is perfect and I'm so smart, I wouldn't have learnt so much. I wouldn't have appreciate myself.

Hot...hotter

The weather is hot nowadays ...

It always is especially before chinese new year

I feel so much hotter this year than previously

Could it be ...

hormones???

Neh... it must be because I'm not working (read : staying inside air-cond office)

the thing about online shopping

Talking about the kind of relationship I have with online shopping, I feel rather silly.

It's the love-hate-hate-love type.

I go head over heels at times and within seconds I loathe it.

You see the thing is : 

(a) Online shopping is so so convenient, I do not have to even leave my home to get the stuff I want. Reason for saying this : I had once got myself something as intimate as nursing breast pump online ... just like that' without even trying. Mind you, it wasn't even cheap, cost a few hundred bucks.

(b) I can compare prices and check out the best deals.

(c) I can get much more varieties as compared to physical store.

(c) I can see what other people have to say about the retailers and get to research about each product.

(d) I get things delivered to my doorstep. Anticipating the arrival of goodies is exciting.

(e) You don't get salesperson following around or pretending like they are not paying attention / looking at you when they are trying very hard to 'eye' you.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT (there's always but, isn't it)

those things that I love is those thing that I loathe 

(A) the fact that I can (fill up with answers from (a) to (e) above) is really killing me. 

It make spending hard-earned so easy, so irresistible, so 'at the snap of finger'.

Oh, btw, did I mention this year I'm even getting CNY clothes online. See what I mean?! LOL

Business of being born

Last Thursday, an ex-colleague sms'ed me. 

She's giving birth to a dragon baby in Feb 2012.  

In her message, she said she may plan for elective C-sec again.

This is her 2nd child. Her 1st child was born via elective C-sec.

She wants to know what's my opinion since I've experienced both.

Earlier, she has been contemplating vbac.
I had some difficulty replying her sms and giving her my opinion without being slightly biased. I tried giving a neutral opinion... but I guess she would have read those everywhere on the net.
I ended up asking her gently what was her doctor's advice (since her doctor knows her should condition best)
She said her doctor say it's up to her.
I asked her for her email and promised to share more with her since I was outside and couldn't do long sms reply (remember, I couldn't multitask well =p)


On my way back, I was thinking hard how to share with her my opinion without being biased and let her make her own choice. I do not want to be seen as 'hardselling' VBAC / natural birth because it's really really an individual choice, individual preference. 
I'm not against c-sec, it is life saving.


In the end, what I did was share with her this documentary 'Business of being born' and a few links which I find very helpful.
This 'Business of being born' was one of the influence in my decision. 
It has strengthened & consolidated what I believe in.
Now that it has helped me... I too would like to share this with all yet-to-be mothers, want-to-be mothers, soon-to-be mothers, already-a-mother, soon-to-be mothers of 2,3,4,5...., fathers and anyone who's involved directly or indirectly in a mother's delivery. 


* ps. thank you so much to ah dear for helping me find & download this documentary(after  he saw me trying to watch snippets, snippets & snippets on youtube. It may be a small gesture but it meant alot and I'm moved.


spare a little of time to watch, you'll see 'something'.
and please feel free to share =) 
btw, this is not a paid post and I don't get anything. Enjoy the trailers.

cloth diaper

Some say 2012 is the end 
Whether 2012 is the end or not the end or near the end, I don't know.
But this is what I can do for our earth...
I've started my little one on cloth diaper (modern type lo) for day time. 
So far so good =) 
Night time still using disposable diapers, couldn't afford to sacrifice my sleep =p 


"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestor, we borrow it from our children"

new year new dustbin... yay!

Malaysians sure have unique way of celebrating 1st day of 2012

We get big green mobile rubbish bin to every household for 'FREE' (T & C apply) from the rubbish collection company =p 

Now, they make us responsible for the 'green taiko' who's as tall as half ah dear complete with 2 big wheels.