a story you want to read ...

This email made me cried in the office ... but I can't stop myself from reading on



The email


I was in tears reading this sad story.
This is long but worth reading and is true story ...
This is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals, who take life for granted.
Please I BEG YOU, read this story until the end, it is such an opener. You never Know.........................!


Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.
Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree.
You should say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.


I immediately agred and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother."



Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets.
Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy.
I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.



Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her.
For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!"

I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."
Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs.

I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.



Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.
In her view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife?



At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice.
She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.



From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me.
For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings,
I would quietly wash them again..


One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room.
Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me....
I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once?
We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"


After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.
During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting.

At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.
To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.



That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"

He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.



The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat.
I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not.
I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out.



Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes..
I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it. We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.



For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.
I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do?


For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.



Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.
Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?



At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.

He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy.



What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.



That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.



The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."

I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?



Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...



I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother. Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.



I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.



One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant.



After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me,challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death.



I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.



I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.



One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign."



He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy.



I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops.



I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.



In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.



Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.



Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet.

This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh.

He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.



Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.

Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...

I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer.

Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hitsme.

Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....

Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy.

Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...

These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... " Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma.

I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face....

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever..."Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late.".........

This is a true story. LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!
I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience....

This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge. People please let’s live a life devoid of grudge. Communication is key. Take greatest care and live on

Have you BE-d?

Have you BE-d?

Effectively we still have 20160 minutes more to go ...

Sometimes I wonder …

Sometimes I wonder what will my life be like if I’m still SAA (Single And Available)?
Will my parents be worry about me and hope that I’ll find someone to take care of me?
Will my parents hope that someday I’ll be like my friends who are in relationships and perhaps getting married?
Will my parents be very cool about it and think it’s alright for a lady to stay single, have the freedom and is financially OK?

I wonder if my mummy is still around, will she like any other mum (or most mums) who shed tears on her daughter’s wedding day?
I wonder what kind of grandma my mum will be like?
I wonder how happy my mum will be seeing her grandchildren?

Sometimes I just wonder and but stop at that because I know there are something in life we will not know the answers.
Even if there are answers, these answers will be far from us.
Even if we know the answers, these answers may not be answers to our questions.
I've learnt that we just have to move on in life.

are we doing it right?

A wise investor is not only one who uses information and makes correct informed investment decisions but also one who manages his/her spending well.

Come to think of it, there's really no point in having a very good investment plan that fails to take off all just because we don't have the necessary amount of money to actually start investing.

On the other hand, having a good investment portfolio that can generate good returns also serve no purpose if we deplete our cash by spending unneccesarily.

Investing needs money but in order to get that money, we have to manage whatever (little or much) we have wisely.
The earlier we start to save, the more we have to invest ... this statement has never been truer as each year goes by in my life.

If you are reading this, start now ... it's better late than never.
There's always 'tomorrow' when it comes to start saving to invest ... but we'll soon realised that for every tomorrow that has passed, there are prices to pay.

張學友和呂方合唱版《李香蘭》

good song by two of my fav singers that can put me to sleep ... within 1 minute (guarantee)

Sukuk Simpanan Rakyat 2009

Sukuk Simpanan Rakyat 2009 was launched today ... I know this is a little late.
Please proceed to your nearest commercial bank for more info and subscription
or refer here for summarised details.

Otherwise you may also refer to BNM website for more details.

chicken balls

wishbone's favourite food .... chicken ball(s)

when she's not busy eating flowers from our garden

why are there so many bills to pay?

so many at times, I feel that when we wanted to save more ... then there's more bills to pay ... more things that crop up that require us to spend more money on.
Wonder whether you feel the same too?

However, judging from current situation, there's really not much use lamenting and ranting ... I've figured that it's much more beneficial putting my energy and effort to better use.

So, here's a toast to every one of us who's currently on saving mode ... or who plan to hatch a plan to save a little more (even as little as RM1 more a day)

I know this sound cliched ... but a journey of a thousand steps always begins with a single step. (and sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit .... but just don't take too long)

wishbone

At last, I've adopted wishbone home.

According to the caretaker, wishbone's lucky for she was 'checked out' a.k.a adopted only about 2 hours after she was 'checked into' SPCA.

I lost count of how many dogs (mostly puppies) I've hugged and pat and I still had no idea why wishbone was chosen.

In fact, I saw her shivering in her cage. People usually avoid shivering dogs for fear of illness or weakness. But somehow, I just feel like bringing this poor puppy home.

I promised wishbone that this journey together is for life ... I'll never at any one point of time give up caring for her.

Ironically, wishbone is one of my wishbone wish come true.

I've one more important person to thank for being so supportive of me and wishbone. He was the one who taught me that you get to make a wish when you get the longer end of the 'Y' shape wishbone. and that was how we ended naming wishbone - wishbone =D

*wishbone trying to get out from the box to play*

Earth Hour 2009

What we did for earth hour (2009)

1. We rushed back from pasar malam after hearing one of the trader say in Cantonese "still have 25 more minutes, we switched off the lights" .... don't know whether he really meant it but was glad that the message actually reach people from all walks of life.

2. As we walked back to Tesco, we were informed Tesco had made announcements to switch off lights from 8.30pm onwards for an hour ... a little suprised but sort of anticipated Tesco will join community activities like this.

3. Reached home 5 minutes before 8.30pm ... ah dear switched on TV to watch the event throughout Malaysia and the world.

4. Just sharp at 8.30pm according to my home clock, I switched off all the lights that were on in the house.

5. As I've yet to bath, I took bath with a tealight candle ... it was such a relaxing bath so much so that I intend to do that more often. Yah, i know I'm not suppose to use the water heater as well but bath still need to be taken.

6. Being a busybody I'm, I went out to check who else on the same street off their light in support of earth hour, dissapointedly, beside our home and father in law home and 2 opposite neighbours (one of which i think is not at home), all the others were with all their lights on.

7. I sat outside wondering what is KL like at this time without most of the lights ... and I sat outside imagining wishbone is running towards me and sat beside me ... wondering whether wishbone will be still waiting for me at SPCA.

(source : www.mymagicproperties.com)

till the next post, take care everyone and if possible, try to do whatever little we can for the earth we live in. We are only guest on earth and we owe our next generation the best of what we have on earth today.

till then, more good news to come =)

funny habit

These days I have a funny habit ... don't know bad or good
I wake up wee hour in the morning looking for food ... let's say around 3 or 4am
once I fill up my tummy, then I'll have a good sleep till the morning alarm clock rings

someone will have to stock up more on food ... ^^!

新不了情 - 萬芳

I grew up listening to some very good / classic songs like this .... songs that can make people cry just by listening.
I grew up at my babysitter's home while I was a toddler and kiddy listening to all the best songs of the era (70s, 80s and 90s) .... that was how they managed to get this hyperactive girl to take afternoon nap.

Strange though, I didn't knew it was the theme song to a movie with the same title ... until I saw the MTV. I heard the song at pasar malam and you-tubed for it.
Now I want to watch the movie (can anyone tell me where can I download old movie like this? TQVM)

Meanwhile, off the light, close your eyes and enjoy this song in the dark ... perhaps something you can do on earth hour on 28/3/09 =) Enjoy

Savings bond

I read the other day about this soon-to-be issued (but don't know how soon lah) government syariah compliance savings bond
tenure : 3 years
interest : 5% p.a paid quarterly
min investment amount : RM1,000
max investment amount : RM50,000
open to malaysian's above age 21

looking at the FD rates now 2.5% p.a (12 mths) and a mere 2% for 1 - 11 months, I think this is a good alternative for savings.

if any of you happen to get any news about this issuance, please just drop me a note =) thanks =)

I'll be flying without wings

Soon ... I'll be flying without wings
This will be the longest time I'll be flying thus far in life
some more this time we can get free food all the way ... lol sheepishly

cold weather .... here I come =D

Life is indeed beautiful

Perhaps it was the 'life is beautiful' feeling I had today ...

perhaps it is about time I do something from my resolutions ...

perhaps that now I'm at a different new stage in life ...

perhaps it's something I feel like giving (after what I've been blessed with this life) ...

I've decided to do this ... giving a gift of life

I've walked past the booth today during lunch but I didn't know why I turned back to have a second look at there I found something I've wanted for a few years.

I honestly did not sign up on the spot ... I feel it's only fair that I at least let my loved ones know this decision I've made (not that it will really change my decision).

To say the least, I've decided and submission will be tomorrow.

12/3/09 will be a 'life is indeed beautiful' day for me =)

Some FAQ on organ donation for sharing ..

What is priceless gift of life?

Death and organ donation, are difficult issues to think, let alone talk about. And if it's hard us now, imagine how it might feel during the death of a loved one. The medical staff who fought to save the patient's life find it just as difficult to accept death and talk about it. Making a decision to donate the organs and tissue of a loved one who has just died may not be easy. It is by pledging our organ and tissues during our lifetime that we make this decision making process easier and less stressful for our relatives.

By signing up with National Donor Registry you will be allowing your organs & tissues to be used for transplantation after death. This will help save lives.

Who can be a donor?

Anyone, young and old alike can sign up. Individuals below 18 years of age will need parental / guardian consent.

What is organ donation?

It is the gift of ones body parts after death for the purpose of transplantation. Transplantation is an operation which involves the replacement of diseased and defective organs & tissues with healthy ones from donors. This treatment helps save lives of people. Organ and tissue donation is the ultimate humanitarian act of charity.

what are the organ & tissues that can be donated?

The commonly transplanted organs are kidney, heart, liver, lungs and pancreas while the transplantable tissues are eyes, bone, skin and heart valves. Thus single donor can save the lives of a number of people.

when are the organ & tissues removed?

organs are removed only after brain death has been confirmed, by two registered doctors. The doctors involved with certification of death are not involved in the transplantation operation at all.

How can I become a donor?

Simply complete the donor pledge form and donor card. Forward them to the National Transplant Resource Centtre and keep the donor card in your wallet all the time.

Please inform your family of your wish to be an organ and tissue donor after your death. This will relieve them of the difficult task of making a decision following your death.

What if I change my mind later?

organ donation is voluntary & if at any point of time you decide against donating your organs and tissues, all you have to do is to inform your family about it and return the donor card.

how are the organs removed?

the process of organ & tissue removal involves a sterile surgical operation undertaken by skilled team of surgeons. There is no mutilation or disfiguration of the body. The donor is treated with utmost respect and dignity in any operation. Following removal of organ tissues, the surgical wouund will be closed just as in any other operation.

will my hospital treatment be affected if they know I'm a donor?

Absolutely not. The doctors will undertake every known measure to save your life right till the end. Only when they are satisfied that you are dead will the question of organ & tissue donation be discussed with your relatives.

will the process of organ donation delay funeral arrangements?

Not at all. Arrangements for funerall can be made as in any case of death. Following the removal of the organs and tissues, the body will be cleaned & draped and returned to the family within shortest time possible. Removal of the organs & tissues does not interfere with the customary funeral or burial including open casket arrangements.

are there any religious objections?

No. All the major religions of the world - Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and Sikhism endorse organ & tissue donation as the ultimate act of charity and benevolence.

Life is beautiful

despite the many things ...

I just felt this way this morning (while walking to work looking at the slow flowing river) ... let's hope that this will last me a lifetime ( I mean the life is beautiful feeling, not the walking to work beside a river part =p )

May you feel the same too =D

rain rain go away, come again another day (please...)

Last last time, maybe about 20 overs years back,
I used to kneel down at the door facing the sky and pray when it rains
'Rain rain please go away, come again another day'
especially on days I want to go out and play at the playground / go to my friend's house to play with their doggies / ride their bicycle / play their video games (notice that I do not have any of these at home)

Today, while walking down the stairs from 8th floor due to 'lif rosak', I looked at the sky again and said in my heart
'Rain rain please go away, come again another day'
I literally want the rain to come again another day so that I can go home early if not sharp with the excuse of the road in front of the office is flooded .... if I don't leave office now, the water may keep rising and I may need to overnight at office till the flood water receed =p kekekeke

Yah... that's really bad of me ...
but you know what ...
today, while on my way home ... I see many colleagues who used to stay till very late actually leave the office early.
To me, it's a good thing, at least tonight, they get to spend more time with their families, their love ones if not themselves.

So, when I say 'Rain rain please go away, come again another day'
I really mean it ... the rain to go away at that moment so that people can start going home, and come again another day so people can go home early and spend their time at home fruitfully.
Isn't it amazing how a little girl's prayer last time ... can be so useful 20 over years later? =)

Some pics capture to depict how's the situation like especially when the river is almost overflowing.
(1) the road in front of office is flooded.

(2) people finding ways to leave office without getting shoes soaked in murdy river water. See the stairs, there's where everyone of us came down because the 'lif rosak'



(3) See the pavement fencing with DBKL logo ... See how near is the water to the pavement edge. In measurable terms, I will say about 15cm-20cm more (like a ruler we use in school).


(4) a closer side view of how the river is almost overflowing. In fact it had overflowed at the lower end (which is at my office).

(5) a closer closer view of how near is the water to pavement, water actually spill out to the pavement near those pillars as the water current is being blocked by the pillar, you can actually see a whirlpool at the pillar.

Please do not ask me why I still have time and dare to stand there to take picture ...

it's because I've got something to say ... a point to share ...

and nothing like this is going to stop me.

A good deal??

The other other night, he made me this for supper .... =D


The other night, he made me this for supper ..... home cooked ayam special with cheese =D

So today, I made this for him ......

kekeke .... a good deal??
OMG!! I'm starting to believe that he's a better cook than I'm ... although I've tried denying the fact for very long.....

for one more day

I've just completed this book a moment ago ...
while choking back tears ...

there are so many things that I've gained and understood from this read ...
some already mentioned in my earlier post ...

but more here (those that really touches the base of my heart) ... although the list is not exhaustive..

that we should never take our lives lightly and waste our lives away as we could be answer to someone's prayer ... such as that of our parents.

that there's a story behind everything. Sometimes the stories are simple and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking.
But behind all our stories is always our mother's story, because hers is where ours begin.

Read this book if you have the chance ... it will really open your heart and soul. It will makes you want to hug your mother and tell her that you love her always and forever.
Trust me, you will!

ps. thanks to CY for borrowing me the book. Thank you so much..

I almost brought him home...

I went over to his place last Sunday ... we stayed in each other embrace for very long..
I let him sleep on my lap while I stroke his head..
He looked deep in my eyes and I know he's the one...

I've hugged many others before but this one feels so much closer as though our hearts are talking to each other. It's just both of us in a vacuum space. He basked in my embrace and I glow with his charm.

I almost brought him home, short of how I'm supposed to face the other man in my life (and home).
But, I made him a promise that if we ever meet again, I'll definately bring him home.

ps. this early morning, I dreamt of bringing him home.
I dream of him in the garden, waiting for me to wake up in the morning.
I dream of him at the gate, waiting for me to come home from a hard day at work in the evening.

penjodoh bilangan for friends : a bunch of friends

why the penjodoh bilangan a bunch ... because like bananas ... they are independently satu batang and yet they are dependent on each other as they come from the same root & same jantung pisang. They turn from 'green' to 'yellow' to 'black' almost at the same time.

Some stay in the bunch of pisang, some fall off, some being pluck off to eat, some being cut off (like when the customer want half the bunch only) some turn 'black' before the rest while some remain 'green'.

I also don't know what I'm bla bla bla'ing.
the point is .... this is our bunch of friends =D the bunch that makes lives happen =D and they are forever 'yellow' =p hehe

For one more day ...

About a few month back, I read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
and couldn't help but relate it to my personal life.

Now again, I'm reading yet another book by Mitch Albom (for one more day) and started sobbing by the last paragraph of the 1st chapter.
I couldn't help it but this author really can pull the heartstring of people where it matter most.

The last paragraph of the 1st chapter says :

But ask yourself this : Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.

What if you got it back?

I think I've been collecting days unconsciously .... unknowingly ...
one of it ....

why i love shopping at tesco ... another reason

Tesco can makes you shop till you drop!!!
(picture was taken as it is, promise I didn't make the lamb lamb dolly fall) =p

劉德華-享用我的姓

one of my favourite song since last time ...
very nice lyrics ... love the whole lyrics particularly the last 3 lines.

the lyrics

曲：黃中原
詞：劉德華
編：Ted Lo

忘也忘不了的情
藏也藏不了的心
愛與恨糾纏不清
略糮o來自無名
是人間的宿命

難也難承受的輕
甩也甩不掉的影
老天不疼愛捎@

狠狠掏空了心靈
寂寞如影隨形

日落後縱使心裡擁有一扇明鏡
也只是能夠看到一片混濁不清

在那夜你天真無邪的心
被我深深的軟禁
含著疏鴗悕╮br>

天亮了我是不敢偷看你在移員br>
多害怕你的眼光永遠不再晶瑩
略穭丰]含了一切不幸

天亮了我是不敢偷看你在移員br>
多害怕你的眼光永遠不再晶瑩
略穭丰]含了一切不幸
給我一切的叮嚀
我怎麼不感應
為什麼不感應

縱然是每一張臉呈現都是猙獰
只有愛才能終止含痕膘鴗悕╮br>
有誰人能夠比我瞭解你的心情
有誰人能夠比我明白你的堅定
多願意把你在夢中喚醒
來實現你的憧憬陪伴你到天明

只有你才有資格接受我的尊敬
只有你才有資格共享用我的姓
當一切已顯得有份有名
你滓慢慢地相信
我用盡我的心
填滿了你的心

what happens when you put our friends & WII together?

Mula-mula, mereka semua berpura-pura tak minat. Semua duduk di tempat masing-masing. Dua orang bermain dengan alasan mereka men'test' sama ada mesin berfungsi.

Tapi sebenarnya, kalau diperhatikan dengan teliti, hampir semua budak lelaki mata tak kelip memandang kaca TV.






Apabila sudah mula warm up(panas naik), semua orang mula berdiri dan mau main. Yang cepat dapat tapi yang lambat tak mengalah juga, mereka menunggu dengan penuh harapan. Kalau diperhatikan, dibelakang atau disebelah orang yang tengah bermain, ada sahaja orang yang tengah menunggu =p









Akhirnya, seperti yang dapat dilihat, kebanyakan kawan kita suka berkongsi dan membenarkan kawan kawan lain main kecuali yang seorang itu (yang pakai baju biru). Tapi tak apa lah, kita tak kisah sebab dia yang bawa itu kawan nama WII =p

Walau bagaimana pun, kita harus berterima kasih kerana kita masih dapat berkumpul bersama dan bermain seperti 10-20 tahun lalu. Ini bukan sesuatu ' achievement' yang senang.

'Panjang Umur Kawan Kawan Baik semua'
'Panjang Umur WII'

doggies adoption

all puppies photos taken from this website

http://rescue2rehome.blogspot.com/

I can't wait to bring one of them home.

These little pups deserved to be loved and cared for.

A girafee a year keep the worries away

Yellow Girafee is Girafee (read : G RA FEE)

Baby Blue Girafee is also Girafee (read : G RA FEE)

they both attend Smart Girafee PC Course .... or so I was told.... hehe =p

Happy 'Niu' Year Everyone!!!

May the year of Ox brings everyone and family

1. the health and strongness of Ox

2. the happiness of Ox brother
3. the determination, good attitude and the success of Ox

4. safe, sound and stable in everything just like Ox brother

5. more good news like how Ox brother always bring food news to everyone in the village

ps. sorry this post is a little late ... I've been busy from chinese new year's eve till now. Thank you for all your wishes. I wishes the same for you.

New pre-CNY supper

Recipe : Lien ya but siew yeh (translated 28th supper)

1. 2 packet of maggie mee 'Super Mee' brand (with seasoning perisa ayam bawang)

2. 20g of seaweeds (for cooking type)

3. 5 pieces of oyster mushroom ( I was not allowed to put more ... hehe)

4. unlimited amount of love I think (I put I think because I was not the one cooking ... muahaha =D

5. can add hard boiled egg as well if still not full enough .... (this one I say one)

Malaysia: Surprisingly Large Rate Cut Signals Deep Economic Concerns?

Bank Negara surprised market with a large 75bps cut to its Overnight Policy Rate (OPR) at its scheduled meeting on Wed (Jan 21) while market was just expecting a 25bps easing. This brings the OPR to 2.50%, the lowest since the central bank started to target the rate in April 2004. The Statutory Reserve Requirement (SRR) was also reduced from 3.50% to 2.00% with effect from Feb 1. The aggressive moves following the 25bps rate cut in November suggests concerns over the rapid deterioration in the incoming economic data and reassures investors that the BNM is ready to take more aggressive steps if necessary.

extracted from UOB Econommic Treasury Research

why i love shopping at tesco ...

People always ask me "why do you like to shop at tesco?"
I'm always at a lost for answer and ended up giving different answers each time.
At last... I found the answer =D
There's always alot to discover, alot to learn in tesco ....
don't believe? see for yourself =D


There's this little smiley that found himself a comfortable bed on top of some tesco brand baby diapers. and he need not be afraid of wetting the bed...

and here master 'wu guei' is checking the price of the cheapest dairy milk around. He's having a hard time choosing either full cream or low fat milk...

Do you have experience to share shopping at any hypermarket? Please feel free to share =)

Reso 2009

Oprah Winfrey once said “ You already have everything you need to start”.
She’s right … it’s not about the money or that ‘thing’.
Just you and your commitment.
She’s just so right.

So, here are my little reso (in no particular order) :

1. Happy & healthy always – ensure that my family & friends are happy and healthy always.
I’ve promised my body not to fall sick as frequent as previously.
Will do my once in 2 years medical check up.
Be more careful as not to hurt myself easily (less bruises and scar for this year).
Always remind myself to look at things positively.
I intend to embark on a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE and EXERCISE REGULARLY (and that include doing house works).
I’ve come to the conclusion that only if I’m healthy I’m able to care for others especially my loved ones.

2. To be a good daughter, sister, wife, daughter in law, sister in law, great grand daughter in law and hopefully a good mama in future. There are so many roles that we play and I hope I can do it well. Now, staying away from my family, I missed them at times especially my father and sisters. I do hope to be a good friend to my dear friends too.

3. To learn cooking, it’s time for me to really get down & learn to cook at least some home dishes. I’ll stick with my 12 dishes per year resolution. I’ve cooked a few dishes this year but haven’t got the gut to let anyone taste except those close to me.

4. To save more – vow to achieve more than half of 6 digits as my account has been bleeding profusely ever since about 6 months ago. =p To spend wisely and reasonably. To delay gratification and reduce hash purchases. To think before buying. Leaving my next bulk purchase of clothes for my next Bangkok trip =D

5. To learn more about financial planning. To increase income via various channels. To seriously start preparing for retirement and family fund.

6. To learn Chinese language. I know I know it has been in my reso for many many years now but my chinese language doesn’t seem to be improving fast enough. Watch more MTV and sing along. Listen to Chinese radio station, watch chinese movies.

7. To start a business – I’ve started one and failed (and not afraid to admit it). It was sold off, however has not received a single cents as the amount is borrowed to a friend in need (in fact, I know them both husband and wife). I do not know when the money will come back but it should never stop / deter me from starting another business.

8. To give a comfortable & loving home to a doggie. Will adopt one from SPCA – before May 2009.

9. To do more charity this year. I was pretty tied up all year round for 2008, thus I did not contribute much to those in need. This year, I’m to help those in need in any way I can. If any of you have or know of any charity event that needs volunteer, please do share with me.

10. To sign up as organ donor this year. I've always wanted to but didn't really take the time and effort to do it. This year, this is one of the little things I must do.

11. To be closer to GOD – I’ve never been pious. But somehow or rather, I feel myself inclined to understand more recently.

12. To be more environmental friendly. I’ve started to segregate my home rubbish (waste) into recyclable items. I’ve even started collecting fruits skins and fresh vegetables left over to make garbage enzymes. They not only cleans well and economical but also help to clear up the environment and reduces wastes.

13. To improve my intrapersonal and communication skills, time management and improve on my attitude.

14. Career advancement – to get a promotion and pay rise. Even if this year, will not get promotion so easily, will work towards one / accumulate effort towards achieving one.
Have grown to love what I’m doing. If possible, will try to take initiative to learn more new things as it will add value to me.

15. To recognise routes - avoid sleeping in vehicles and try to recognise route =p

Last but not least, I would like to reiterate :
Oprah Winfrey once said “ You already have everything you need to start”. She’s right … it’s not about the money or that ‘thing’. Just you and your commitment.
She’s just sooo.. right.

Wishing all of us who has set our resolutions for 2009 will look back in 2010 and glad that we have achieve most of what we commit to do =)

yahoo ...

Just completed some testings from home .... glad that results are as intended.
Now I can go back and sleep .... yawn =O
*but the alarm clock will ring again in 2 hour time* aiyaya ....

back together again

Today, a colleague of mine revealed that she and her husband has got back together.
They were separated for about a year or so due to some misunderstandings.
She told me it was after being separated, they both realised that they still love each very much and miss each other. They realised that they were both meant for each other.

"Perhaps, sometimes we need to lose something before we learn to appreciate"
I guess what she says is true...

nevertheless, I'm happy for them and wishes them the best.

2008 ... I count my blessings

I still remember same time last year, I was also sitting in front of the computer ... thinking what will happen in the next one year.

A lot has happened indeed ... somethings are good, somethings are better.

Some are little 'lemons' which I made into 'lemonade' =D

Year 2008 is very meaningful to me. It brings with it a new meaning to my life.

Started the year with a late recap of 2007 (just like the late recap of 2008 now).

I've prepared and cooked my 1st reunion dinner together with my sisters. Most of our past few years reunion dinner were 'yat wok suk' steamboat. It was not too tasty but just nice for a reunion dinner with my beloved family. I finally realised that it was not the tastiness that counts... it's that special thought and effort to prepare the most delicious food to our loved ones that matters.

Tried cooking a few dishes ever since ... I wouldn't say very nice but somehow I really appreciate everyone finishing the dishes.

Then it was that 'moment' when we decided to share our lives. I've never thought someone would ever fall in love with a girl like me (I mean seriously). No matter what happen, we will face it together like we vow to.

Finally 4 days before we start 2009, we tied the knot ceremoniously (thanks to all heng dais and ji muis!) and upgraded ourselves to be 'uncle' and aunty'. Not only that, we upgraded ourselves to be at the 'giving' end instead of the 'receiving' end for CNY.... =p

Throughout the 2nd part of 2008, I've got to know heartening stories about lovers / couples / soon-to-be husband and wife who went separate ways ... it pains my heart and it somehow or rather affected me as these are happening to some of my friends and relative. But I always tell myself that life is full of ups and downs ... it's how we look at it.

Now that my mother is not with us anymore, I've learn to love and care for my father and sisters more. Nothing matters more to me than seeing them healthy and happy. Like I've always said : in my next life, if I were given a chance, I will still want to be my parents' daughter and my sisters' ah jie. That is one thing that will never change.

2008 was an average year health wise as I seem to be visiting the doctor almost every month.

Was down with cough, flu, fever, infection throughout the year and even 'twisted' my ankle till I can't walk. Grateful my friends were there to help.

Many months this year were spent DIY and setting up our new home. I'm proud that we almost done everything by ourselves and of course with the help of family members and close friends and not to mention the two very helpful on-loan helpers Nadia and Kara.

It feels great to see when finally that 'home' we have been working on and spending our weekends there is now as warm and as homely as possible.

All the DIYs will always have special memories for all of us (especially those of you ... you know who you are who have helped us so much in painting, tidying and decorating the home). I do not know how more I can thank you all...

2008's travel was all fun especially with our usual-gang-of-buddies ... the local and overseas trips will not be that fun without you all. However, we did have a breakthrough (imho) that we gals travel ourselves to Bangkok and the almost-missed-flight episode. It was the best shopping trip I ever had so far.

2008... I finally decided to let go the tortoise that I started rearing when I started with ah dear ... they were getting bigger than I can handle and it's only fair that I give them their freedom. So we release them to the ponds full of friends at thean hou temple. I'm glad that I've released them to a better place.

We also have been up to Genting twice (thank you for someone's unlimited card) and played like there's no tomorrow. Getting those bears and giving them away was one of the best ever thing I've enjoyed doing.

2008 was the 1st time I go to a book warehouse sales and got the best deals ever. I actually rewarded myself with a year supply of books for 2009.

Thanks to keef, poh wai, yen ghee, foong ling, NDC, CY, yen erl who influence me to join the runs and walks ... I've seen a little more improvement to my health (of course, there's more room for improvements). Throughout the runs and walks ... I've learnt aplenty and meet aplenty. It also gave me time to myself and provides me the 'solidatory' I sometimes needed.

I develop passion for gardening and with the help of ah dear (physically & financially) able to create a garden that I can look at and smile happily everyday. A simple garden but so full of lives, so full of love and so full of hope =D

career wise, I've got myself a little promotion. I believe there's more to come as long as we continue putting in effort. We always reap what we sow.

one thing I couldn't forgot on 2008 CNY's eve was 'Si Tompok' having a fun time in dear's car =p

Finally as a closing to a beautiful year (and an opening to another beautiful year), I count my blessings ....

ps. leaving the 2009 resolutions for next post =D till then, take care everyone.

ME ME MIA

Very sorry for MIA (missing in action) for a while (albeit a long one) =p
Was tied up with something very very important
and when I finally sigh a relief and wanted to start blogging about the whirlwind that happened the past few weeks ....
I realised we don't have internet connection in new home ...
and when I realised that the internet connection is working, I had no time to write ... was busy stocking up for our new home.
When I finally really want to sit down and write ... I had to go back to work liao and work start to occupy my mind.

But I'm very happy ... I start a new beginning (2009 onwards) with a beautiful ending (2008)
thanks to dear who allow me into his life and thanks to all our buddies who made it even more meaningful and wonderful and cheerful and mischievous'ful and fun'ful event.