I got to know that consultation hours for out-patient is earlier half of the day.
I proceed to waiting area. When see everyone is with someone, suddenly feel very lonely. lucky had a book with me...trying to concentrate on reading. Usually I'll start chatting but during then I was too tired to talk... had a lot of question mark in my mind.
I still remembered being 'interrogated' by a young man who introduced himself as trainee doctor. Everytime when my answers sounded vague or not sure, he has more questions to follow. As I answered, he started drawing charts & diagram (of which I can understand the family tree only). After that, I was asked to wait again. Each time I go toilet, I had to informed someone to tell the nurse if they look for me.
I waited with many patients till the number dwindle to a few patients.
At last, my name was called. As I walked into the room, I could see my' file' was opened on the table and I see 3 trainees at the corner of the consultation room.
Dr. K (to remain anonymous) repeated some of the questions posted earlier by trainee doctor. I saw the referral letter but dare not stare long and doctor's handwriting hard to read.
Dr. K : siapa datang sama? kenapa tak panggil dia masuk?
me : saya datang sendiri
Dr. K : oh, tak pa ... ingatkan ada orang datang sama. doktor sebelum ni sudah buat pemeriksaan & scan ke? Doktor ada kata apa-apa?
me : .........
Dr. K : kita akan buat satu 'biopsy' ... tak payah bimbang ... cuma sakit sikit sahaja
I was lead to another room through the other door, was told to change. As I lay waiting on the bed / chair, the nurse took my hand and assured me "jangan bimbang, tak de apa apa punya". she even stroke my forehead.
the doctor explained to me that he'll take some cells to be examined, it might be a bit painful but he'll put local anaesthetic.
just when i thought everything has come to an end, the doctor told me to hold a second.
Dr. K : you take a rest first, I'll call Dr. H, our specialist doctor to have a look at your condition
in my mind ... more worries ... why have to call another doctor wan?
Dr. H came in, have a look at my 'file', asked me almost the same questions again, examine again before over to talk to Dr. K. Can't eavesdrop..too far away.
Dr. K came back, explained have to extract another set of cells for further test. assured me everything will be fine.
Initially I was still OK, not until Dr. H told me that they are doing 'biopsy' which are tests to determine whether the cells are cancerous / malignant
I must have cried because Dr.H wiped away my tears.
Dr. H : You must be strong and (I remember nodding my head)
Dr. H : usually people don't get it at this young age which is why we need to do the biopsy and monitor your situation. don't worry, everything will be fine. We'll let you have some medicine, you'll have to come back on 6/1/04. or if we need you to come back urgently, we will give you a call. (which send shiver down my spine)
the nurse helped me to change while the doctors continue their discussion.
as I sat opposite the 2 doctors, I remember asking "tomorrow I'll be going for a trip with my family, can i go? can i swim?
Dr. K : have you told them?
me : No. I don't want them to worry
Dr. H : you should tell them.
me : (i looked at them ... saying nothing)
Dr. H : you can go for trip but not swimming ok & come back to see us
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